Giddy Presents The Naked Truth: Help, I Think My Penis Is Too Big!

I'm an AASECT-certified sex therapist and licensed professional counselor-supervisor based in Austin, Texas. I've been in practice for 14 years, including working in corporate settings, higher education and private practice.

If you have questions you want to be answered in future columns, send me an email at askgiddy@getmegiddy.com. Privacy in all matters of intimacy is very important to me and any questions answered in this column will be entirely anonymous.

Enough about me, let's talk sex.

I have a big penis and no matter what I do to soften the blow, I always get a fearful look from potential partners. One potential partner began getting dressed the second she saw it. I've no ambition to become a porn star but I'm wondering if that's the only way I'm going to get laid.

Matthew in Massachusetts

My friend, never underestimate the power of the dick. All of our bodies have an innate way of "gelling," but with unique body frames and anatomy, sexual challenges can arise. Learning your body and playing with accommodating angles is a small part of regaining confidence while playing.

I used to love to play pool. However, it never mattered how many lessons I got, I had boobs and they got in the way in a way that's difficult to understand if you don't have them.

I have no doubt, though, that with a healthy dose of communication, rapport building, self-confidence and an open mind, you and "Jr." will be a team of pure pleasure and sensation.

I understand navigating the act with a new partner the first few times will not be as graceful as porn stars make it look. Every new partner comes with a learning curve, so I have a few suggestions for you and your big dick.

First, educate yourself about your and your partner's pelvic floor. Find and explore different positions while you learn each partner's body type and pleasure preferences. If you plan to have sex with a partner more than once, create time and opportunity for them to build a relationship with your member.

Understanding the pelvic floor is important regardless of penis size. Variables that can create undesirable pelvic floor pain and pressure should be considered before any play time. In both male and female anatomy, large meals, beer, carbs, and pretty much anything that causes gas and bloating can be a serious cock-block. But the pressure from gas or constipation can create sharp pains in or near the bladder and lower back.

When engorged, the female pelvic floor enlarges by up to 70 percent. This is similar to what happens to the clitoris, labia, and all the tissue above, near and below the vagina. Engorgement allows for a climax and orgasm prior to penetration, a healthy dilation in the pelvic floor cavities and a healthy dose of natural lubrication.

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Foreplay is important when making a physical space of safety and connection. It also takes away the potential pressure and anxiety for both of you. Let your partner get to know your penis.

I also love the idea of giving and receiving oral sex. Don't get me wrong, I do not expect your partner to fit the whole monster in her mouth and deep throat. This is real life, not porn. Realistically, though, this is going to give you and your partner a moment to stimulate the head while she uses her hand to stimulate the shaft while she gets to know your body better.

Oddly enough, if time or circumstance permits, it's a good idea to let your partner build a relationship with your penis. This may include soothing affection, such as a "nonsexual" stroke or massage to your testicles and penis while flaccid during cuddle time on the couch or while watching a movie in bed.

Finally, playing with positions is imperative to pleasurable penetration with a large penis. My favorite two positions for intercourse with a large erection include the partner on top—while you sit up against the back of a sofa or headboard—and reverse cowgirl, where you lie flat and they're on top with their back facing you. These positions allow for full control of speed, the pace of penetration and how much of your member gets inserted.

If you prefer a less submissive position for yourself, have you and your partner lie on your left sides, almost like spooning but with more space and slowly penetrate from behind. This position decreases pelvic floor pressure, lowers back pressure and allows both of you to relax the gastrointestinal (GI) tract.

Pleasure and play are possible with a little extra patience and attention to detail, even in nonverbal facial expressions. Starting slow and having open communication decreases the intimidation of playing with a large penis. Let me warn you friend, once a play partner "clicks" with you and "Jr.," be careful.

They may never want to leave you alone again.

Again, I'm not shy, so feel free to ask me anything. Remember, this will always be anonymous. If you have any questions about relationships, sexual activities or your partners, let me know. Tell me your first name and the state you live in so I can attribute your question. Please send me an email at askgiddy@getmegiddy.com. We will always respect your privacy.