There's No Such Thing as Being Too Big, But…

Nature has a funny way of mocking us.

Take the number-one complaint many men have about their body: The desire for a bigger penis. One study, published in the Journal of Health Psychology, found 68.1 percent of men were insecure about the size of their penis. The tragic irony is that the challenges they perceive won't go away if their wish was magically granted. A guy with an extra-large penis may be admired in the gym locker room and in porn, but in real life, they often have difficulty having a fulfilling sex life.

Let's start at the beginning: When is big too big, and what can you do about it? And how big is a big penis anyway?

You mean, that's it?

A meta-study published in the British Journal of Urology International in 2015 took 17 previous studies incorporating data from more than 15,000 men and synthesized it to calculate the average size of a human penis.

Drum roll, please: The average flaccid male member measures 3.61 inches (9.16 cm), while the average erect penis size is 5.16 inches (13.12 cm).

If you guessed the answer would be bigger, you're not alone. A 2021 study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy sought to quantify male penis size overestimation, finding that most heterosexual men guessed the average erect penis was 6.2 inches (15.75 cm), with gay men guessing even more.

Fact is, if a penis is more than a couple of inches above average, penetrative sex can be prohibitive, whether it's anal or vaginal. Luckily, there are a few tried-and-true methods for helping to ease the way.

Go slow

If there's one thing a guy with an extra-large penis needs—besides extra-large condoms—it's patience.

Take your sweet time with foreplay. Make sure your partner is as excited as you are and go slow. This is not a sprint—think marathon.

Communicate with your partner

Don't try to silently read your partner's scrunched-up face as you're trying to enter them. Talk to them, ask how they're doing, look for a smile of encouragement. The sounds we make during sex are often easily mistaken for either pain or pleasure, so keep making sure it's the latter.

Also, if you're attempting anal penetration, make sure your partner takes deep breaths as you go. Suggest they "bear down," too—that is, push as if they're trying to poop. This helps to open up the anal ring, allowing for easier entrances and exits.

Lubrication is your friend

This ought to be a no-brainer, but try to remember lubrication in the heat of the moment.

Don't get overexcited before everything is all slicked up down there. This goes out to every guy, no matter his length or girth: Well-lubricated sex is happy sex.

Try different positions

The difficulty of having sex with an extra-large schlong can largely be alleviated simply by letting the receiving partner take more control.

You may not be able to hop on top of your partner and run through the "Kama Sutra," but you can still have fun. An easy first suggestion might be to try letting your partner be on top and dictate the action.

So, what else have you got?

One final thought: Keep in mind that penetration isn't everything. There are so many ways to please one another physically without penis-in-vagina or penis-in-anus action. Here's your chance to get creative, big boy!

If you are truly large, the best advice you can follow is to be open, communicative and willing to try different things. And your partner should do the same—that is, after the initial shock wears off from seeing you naked for the first time.