Talk to Your Partner About Sex

We all dream of having a partner straight from a rom-com, a person who can read our mind and push all the right buttons for us to achieve orgasm. The truth is those hot sex scenes in the movies (and porn) all have something in common: They're choreographed, edited, airbrushed and filtered to perfection. Mind-blowing sex in the real world takes a little more work.

Sex talk doesn't have to be awkward

The first benefit—and there are many—of opening up a line of dialogue is the sense of honesty that comes with it. Many women worry that communicating their needs might make their partner feel inadequate, but it's all about the approach. If you open a conversation about sex by saying,  "We have great sex that could be even better for both of us," your partner will benefit as much as you will.

If your cheeks flush at the thought of sex talk, you're not alone, but talking to your partner about sex doesn't have to be awkward. When I took the plunge, my face felt like it was on fire, but something amazing happened about a minute into the conversation: My partner opened up to me and asked questions. Now, it's like we can read each other's thoughts.

Not only does talking about sex make other difficult topics seem easy, but making sex a casual topic in your relationship will also help your partner open up to trying new, more adventurous activities in the bedroom.

Sexual health impacts mental health

Another benefit of talking about sex is the mental clarity it can bring to your relationship. Think about the worst sexual experience you've ever had. Often, it occurred because your partner had one idea of what they thought you wanted and you had a completely different idea about what you needed. Now, think about how this encounter made you feel: frustrated, confused, lonely and maybe even angry.

While all couples have off days, frequent negative sexual encounters can make you feel like your partner doesn't care about your sexual needs. This has a way of trickling into your daily life in the form of miscommunication, overthinking and assumption-making. However, partners who communicate about their needs develop a relationship built on mutual satisfaction, where helping your partner climax is as satisfying as your own orgasm.

Remove resentment from your relationship

Resentment is one of the most toxic emotions between couples, a silent relationship killer that has a way of bubbling up at the most inopportune moments. However, if you feel like your sexual encounters always end with you feeling unsatisfied, chances are good that resentment is already a fixture in your relationship.

That's a problem, because couples who are unsatisfied sexually will often express this dissatisfaction in other areas of their life. To make matters worse, such dissatisfaction will decrease your sex drive, which creates a harmful cycle.

One of the biggest benefits associated with communicating about your needs is the potential of long-term sexual satisfaction. When you open the door to talking about sex, your partner will likely make your sexual needs a priority. Helping your partner reach climax affirms your bond and shows that their needs are as important as your own. This balance will impact your entire relationship.

It's healthy

Now that you know how talking about sex can help your relationship, you should be ready to get the ball rolling. While starting the conversation seems difficult, the benefits far outweigh the momentary awkwardness. Take the plunge and tell your partner what you like. If you truly want the best sex of your life and want magic in your relationship, stop talking about the little things and focus more on your sexual needs.