In the days leading up to February 14, grocery stores swarm with roving heart-shaped nylon balloons, mail carrier routes clog with orders of imported roses and lifesize teddy bears, and partners throughout the land scratch their head wondering what would be an astounding gift for their loved one.

And the internet floods with Valentine's Day origin stories. (But not as good as this one!)

Year after year, morning talk show hosts, news anchors, journalists and bloggers make a valiant attempt to unwrap the holiday's history, and year after year, we seem to come to the same conclusion—no one really knows how Valentine's Day began.

While some historians trace its roots to a bawdy and