Does Masturbation Before Sex Help Men Last Longer?

For men of a certain age, a conversation about masturbating before a big date in order to last longer—in case sex becomes a possibility—may conjure memories of the 1990s rom-com "There's Something About Mary."

In an iconic scene, Cameron Diaz's Mary uses Ted's (Ben Stiller) semen as hair gel. Ted, acting on the advice of a friend, was masturbating prior to his long-awaited date with Mary. His ejaculate went astray and she arrived at his door before he could find and dispose of the evidence, so to speak.

Mistaking the semen clinging to Ted's ear for styling gel, she applies a generous dollop to her hair and they proceed with the date, the front of Mary's hair pointing straight up.

You should avoid this sort of situation. If you're really concerned about lasting longer—perhaps you suffer from premature ejaculation (PE)—and are wondering whether masturbation before sex could help avoid the issue, you ought to know a few things.

What constitutes premature ejaculation?

If it's been a while since you've ejaculated, you're likely to be more sensitive to stimulation, and you may fire away sooner than you might have otherwise. That's probably not premature ejaculation, which is a recognized, diagnosable medical condition that affects 30 percent to 40 percent of men. A scenario where it's simply been a while between orgasms does bear some similarities to PE—but there are important differences.

In order to be diagnosed with premature ejaculation, a man must consistently have poor ejaculatory control, according to the American Urological Association (AUA) guidelines. If it's something that happens once on a date night, most urologists wouldn't diagnose it as PE.

However, it's important to note that dissatisfaction with how long it takes you to ejaculate during penetrative sex is another factor in diagnosis.

"[Diagnosis] typically happens when someone ejaculates within one to three minutes of penetration," said Amy Pearlman, M.D., a men's health specialist and co-founder of Prime Institute in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. "But premature ejaculation is when a man ejaculates sooner than he wants to during sex. So, it's really like, you don't have to do anything about it unless it's bothersome for the person or his partner. It's a big reason why men will see a healthcare provider—it can greatly impact their sexual life."

What is a refractory period?

Before you use pre-sex masturbation as a tool to help you last longer, consider the refractory period. This refers to the time period following ejaculation when a man is unable to get an erection or ejaculate, which varies from person to person.

"When people are younger, their refractory period could be as little as 15 minutes," Pearlman said. "Some men don't have any refractory period, or it could be less than 10 seconds. But as they get older, it could be as much as 24 hours. That's the number one thing for people to understand: As they get older, it's common for it to change."

Another consideration is to be very clear about what you want out of this potential sexual encounter. Especially for guys who may have a longer refractory period, having recently ejaculated might put a damper on things in other ways.

"I know this from anecdotal experience talking to men. If they want to have a really good sexual experience, they're going to wait a few days," Pearlman said. "Because if they masturbate the day before, it's not going to feel as good."

There may be other downstream issues that a pre-sax wank could exacerbate for older men.

"As we age, the refractory period lengthens," said Neel Parekh, M.D., a men's fertility and sexual health specialist with Cleveland Clinic. "So it takes more time for guys to be able to perform again. Potentially, an older guy who masturbates before may even have trouble getting an erection or maintaining an erection if they masturbate too soon before sexual activity."

Who benefits from masturbating before sex?

There are men who are probably good candidates for masturbation before a big date—particularly if they're younger and have been in a bit of a dry spell. There might even be benefits beyond lasting longer in bed.

"Masturbation, in general, can help reduce stress and anxiety," Parekh said. "And, oftentimes, stress and anxiety are common culprits when it comes to premature ejaculation."

Remember, there are other avenues to explore if "helping yourself" in this particular way isn't for you.

"There are products out there on the market to really help people train their bodies," Pearlman said. "The first-line therapies for a lot of these men are going to be behavioral changes, going to see a sex therapist, and using things that decrease sensation to the penis. The trick is that you still want that man to feel good and experience pleasure, but you want to dip it down a bit."

Conclusions

There are plenty of options to help. You're not left to your own devices if this is an issue. The most important starting point is to learn how your body works.

"Whether or not it helps a man last longer just depends on their individual circumstances," Parekh said. "But if they're really experiencing issues with premature ejaculation, and that's having an effect on their quality of life or the quality of their sex life with their partner, it's better to talk to a urologist, a healthcare provider, or a sex therapist to maybe figure out the underlying cause or figure out a treatment.

"I think it's different for everybody."