Why Are Some Men So Afraid of Strong Women?

Anyone who's dared post a feminist opinion online has likely run into their fair share of trolls, the majority of them male. Recently, my colleague Yael Wolfe, a feminist writer from the Pacific Northwest, wrote an article describing these types of comments. Rather than supporting women writing about their own experiences, and appreciating their perspective, men dive into the comments to wonder, why aren't we writing from both sides? Or, why aren't we endeavoring to protect the men we aren't referring to when we speak about negative occurrences? She talks about how she would no longer apologize for taking up space online with her words, and how she would no longer place disclaimers in her work, simply to appease those who can't separate themselves from what she's writing about.

"When I write about women, I'm not trying to exclude men. I'm not trying to blame them for the power imbalances in our world. I know they have problems, too. I know living in a white supremacist patriarchy takes from everyone—even those at the top of the food chain," wrote Wolfe.

Male Trolls Come Out in Droves

A December 2017 study from Brunel University and Goldsmiths, University of London, has indicated a link between narcissism and antisocial online behavior, such as attention-seeking and bullying. The research team found that men were more motivated than women to use social media sites in these ways, and that such behavior could be explained by narcissistic tendencies. In turn, narcissism is linked to aggression and manipulative behavior. Underlying a hostile action might be the intent to try to reestablish power and self-esteem.

Troll behavior is highly associated with "dark" personality traits, more common in men than in women. First discovered by Delroy Paulhus and Kevin Williams in 2002, the dark triad of personality consists of narcissism, Machiavellianism (strategic exploitation and deceit) and psychopathy. They can be taken a step further and morph into real-life gender-based violence, which is even more terrifying.

It's not a far stretch to imagine men who perpetuate this type of behavior are far more afraid of the strong women who stand up for themselves and their fellow women than anything else—explaining why they lash out. Women may be considered the weaker sex, but that's changing in so many ways. Online forums have given women a place to use their voices to speak about what matters to them from their experiences. Scores of men are finding themselves being told to sit down and shut up for once, and they don't like it. But why is it an issue to speak from a place of knowledge, for a woman?

So, what makes men so afraid?

The reality is, society has taught men to feel emasculated in the presence of women who behave this way. They've been conditioned to believe they should be the providers, and that women should demure to them in almost everything. This is the patriarchy hard at work and it's detrimental to everyone involved.

In today's world, where women are speaking up and speaking out against misogyny, where they're owning their sexuality or even standing up for their fellow women's right to do the same, it doesn't take anything away from the men in their lives. It actually gives men the space to do the same thing. The patriarchy harms men just as much as it does women. Toxic masculinity is isolating for men and hurts them, too. Rather than rally against those who dare to speak out, stand with them. Show your fellow man how to act, if not for yourself, then for your daughters, your wives, and your mothers.