Upgrade to a Blended Orgasm
The first time I experienced a blended orgasm was with a $10 rabbit vibrator I ordered from Amazon. The soft, purple, plastic vibrator had little bunny ears, which stimulated the clitoris, and a vibrating shaft for penetration. The orgasm came quickly (in less than a minute) and was much more powerful than any climax when I used my hand.
I was hooked.
Traditionally, a blended orgasm comes from simultaneous G-spot and clitoral stimulation. It's more intense than a clitoral or vaginal orgasm alone, which is part of the reason rabbit vibrators have been a classic sex toy since the 1980s. When you climax from stimulating your vagina and clitoris simultaneously, the flood of endorphins and euphoria that washes over you is hard to match.
"Here's the deal: Most orgasms are blended orgasms," said Bat Sheva Marcus, Ph.D., a sex therapist and licensed social worker in the Bronx in New York City. "Your vaginal canal has 2,000 nerve endings, your clitoris has 8,000 and your vulvar area has another 2,000. So, for many women, an orgasm that they are having with a penis or dildo in their vagina while using their hand or vibrator on their clitoris creates a more 'full-bodied' orgasm."
A blended orgasm can be a combination of any two types of orgasms: anal and clitoral, vaginal and anal…you get the idea. Whether you want to experience a blended orgasm with sex toys, your partner or multiple partners, here's a handy playbook.
The classic: Clitoral and vaginal
One direct path to a blended orgasm is going to your local sex shop and buying a rabbit vibe. In recent years, the little bunny ears for the clitoris have gone out of style. More modern rabbit vibes have an independent internal and external arm so you can customize the vibrations. Many newer models connect via Bluetooth to an app on your phone so your partner can get involved from afar, too.
If sex toys aren't your style, the next time your partner is giving you head, ask them to slip a finger inside your vagina as they work their magic on your clitoris. Make sure they don't just put their finger inside you and keep it still. Ask them to try a "come here" motion with the finger to stimulate your G-spot.
"One tried-and-true way that's worked for many of my partners happens during oral sex. I use my fingers to stimulate their G-spot and my mouth to stimulate their clit at the same time," said Sarah Riccio, a queer sex educator, sex toy expert and co-founder of Delicto, an online pleasure product shop based in New York City. "This might not work for everyone, and alternating between clitoral and G-spot stimulation can be better for some."
You could also use a vibrator or dildo (instead of fingers) while your partner gives you head for a similar effect, though it may be trickier to get the position right.
The spicy: Clitoral and anal
Sex toys are a great way to achieve blended orgasms, and especially helpful to achieve a combination clitoral-anal orgasm. I recommend getting a butt plug or another anal toy and using a vibrator at the same time. You may get into "triple blended" orgasm territory if you stimulate the G-spot internally, the clitoris externally and the vaginal A-spot via anal penetration.
The key is to start with the stimulation that usually makes you or your partner come.
"If you want to achieve a blended orgasm, start with two of the easiest ways your partner is able to climax. Of course, this can be applied with self-pleasure as well. Often, I encourage my clients to aim for the trifecta: three erogenous zones being stimulated at the same time," said sex, love and intimacy coach Charelle Thomas, based in Chicago.
You can have anal sex with your partner and use your vibrator on your clitoris. A wearable vibrator—which looks like a clip with one inner arm and one outer arm that rests on your clitoris—can work well for this approach.
Using your hand is always an option, too, though it may be difficult to focus on moving it well during anal. A sex toy pillow that holds your body and toys in place can make it much easier to incorporate vibrators during anal sex.
If you're having a threesome, someone can give you head while another person is giving your rear end some attention. It's probably not the most common scenario to find yourself in, but I imagine it would feel divine.
The pro: Vaginal and anal
A vaginal and anal blended orgasm is a rare breed. It's essentially double penetration, which takes a lot of practice and feels very intense, even when it's not your first rodeo. Since 80 percent of women can't come without clitoral stimulation, this combination works best with vaginal, anal and clitoral stimulation.
One option is to have a threesome with two partners who can penetrate you at the same time. Alternatively, you can use a vibrator or dildo in your vagina while your partner gives you some anal action and vice versa. Note that your partner doesn't need to have a penis to give anal. They can also use a strap-on.
If you're having fun solo, you can use a dildo in your butt and a vibrator in your vagina or vice versa. Just make sure to sanitize your toys and don't mix them up and cross-contaminate. Remember to go slow, use plenty of lube and ease up a little if it starts feeling painful.
Gather your tools and have some fun
There are virtually endless ways to have a blended orgasm. Whether you have a partner to experiment with or a few vibrators and butt plugs in your nightstand drawer, don't be afraid to try new approaches to pleasure.
While it can be tempting to continue with your usual sex positions and masturbation techniques, switching things up can result in a world of new sensations.