Sacred Sexuality: Discovering the Spirit with Sex

Sex and sexuality can mean different things to different people, from recreation to intimacy to procreation. Or all of the above. Sex also represents an opportunity to discover deeper meaning and greater connection with life, the universe and everything, a practice known as sacred sexuality.

Sacred sexuality refers to the practice of using sexuality as a spiritual exercise, and its roots are set in Hinduism and Buddhist tantric sexual practices. Many societies have treated sexuality as hallowed territory, thanks to its ability to create life, and all of these unique and individualized histories surrounding sex are often lumped together under the general category of sacred sexuality.

A celebration of life

Rather than labeling sexual acts and pleasure as sinful, sacred sexuality recognizes their significance. It encourages individuals to celebrate new life and recognize existing life and the bond a sexual relationship can bring.

Sacred sexuality encourages life-affirming behaviors such as deep breathing and meditation, as well as exercises that express a connection between spirit and body: think martial arts, yoga or even massage.

The dull & the divine

One of the most well-known texts addressing eroticism as a function of living well is "The Kama Sutra," a book that is often perceived by non-Hindu people as salacious and erotic, but in reality is more of a user's manual than a collection of Penthouse letters. It provides instruction for enhancing pleasure and satisfaction during erotic activity. The clearest translations tend to read as fairly dry and straightforward.

Sacred sexuality is as much about educating yourself as it is finding pleasure. Pleasure is approached as a component of knowledge; knowledge of self, others and the universe at large is said to be gained through treating sex as spiritually venerated.

Even though sacred sexuality is often synonymous with connection, this connection can be formed either with oneself or someone else. The results can be empowering, informative and healing for individuals or relationships.

Sacred solitaire & twin flames

When talking about tantric practices, either alone or with partners, people often mistake tantra as a means to an end: bigger, better and more sustained orgasms. Sacred sexuality is generally about acquiring a deeper relationship with every aspect of the sexual experience, not just the big release.

Masturbation is often viewed as a linear, gradual process with one big, culminating conclusion in the form of orgasm. However, sacred sexuality, including tantric sex, encourages curiosity and a general desire for discovery through masturbation, with an emphasis on the journey.

Tantric buildup isn't even always about genital contact. Tantric masturbation may be preceded by meditation, stretching or emotional wandering without forced boundaries impeding one's progress in the ethereal realms of feeling and pleasure.

Similarly, couples who wish to explore tantra may start without even taking off their clothes. Recommended acts for couples who wish to enhance the presence of sacred sexuality in the bedroom include eye contact, synchronized breathing and basic intimacy practices such as cuddling and spatial preparation.

A phrase you'll often hear mentioned in conversations about the spiritual side of sex is the idea of the twin flame. The theory: Within the body and spirit of another person, there may reside an essence or a spark of life that mirrors and resonates with your own. Twin flames can experience spiritual reciprocity from each other in any number of settings that don't necessarily have to be sexual.

The concept of twin flames isn't necessarily synonymous with the idea of a soul mate. While the interpretation is yours to make, a distinction is formed that a soul mate is a companion on the journey of life, as opposed to a twin flame being an aspect of oneself as much as one is an aspect of the whole universe.

Where to begin?

If you're adventuring solo, a good place to start would simply be research. There are thousands of years' worth of insights, observations, opinions and even science relating to the mental and physical health benefits of practicing more conscious and open sexual energy. Find an accessible piece of literature on the subject and take it from there. Writing in a journal or freewriting about sex and interconnection is also a good place to start.

If you have a partner(s) you wish to explore the subject with, start a dialogue.

There is no wrong place to start. Seek advice and guidance but know there is no right way in the discovery. You'll find, once you open the first door, there are many more behind it waiting for you to walk through.