There's a whole bunch of cringe-worthy euphemisms for anal sex—backdoor action, fudge packing, riding the Hershey Highway—but one in particular has caught on among sex writers; an admittedly small group of people, but one with an outsized influence on how everyone else talks and thinks about sex. "Fifth base" isn't an everyday euphemism (yet?), but cheesy BDSM erotica authors, TV writers and women's magazine editors seem hell-bent on making it happen.

Here's why they need to give it a rest.

"Fifth base" is cutesy, childish and passé: The terrain of those desperate to appear casual and worldly about sex (but who are tittering and uneasy deep down), it builds on the dated baseball analogy—kissing is first base, "hand stuff" is second, oral sex is third and intercourse is home base, that's how you "score"—which