A Beginner’s Guide to Anal Sex for Women

Anal sex generally refers to sex in which the anus is penetrated by a penis, finger or toy. Obviously, the anal canal is very different from the vagina—it’s tighter and less elastic—but it is also full of nerve endings and can therefore play a sensational role in your sex life.

Additionally, anal sex might just increase a woman’s chances of having an orgasm. A 2010 study from the Journal of Sexual Medicine reported that 31 percent of women surveyed had incorporated anal sex into their most recent sexual encounter, and 91 percent of them climaxed because of it.

Or course, there’s another benefit for couples who don’t necessarily want kids: Anal sex has no direct risk of pregnancy.

Trying anal sex may fulfill fantasies, but it may also help partners connect on a different level and build trust. But don’t ever be pressured into having anal sex: Try it only if you wish, and stop as soon as you want to stop.

Is it safe?

First, try to put all of your preconceptions aside. When engaged in properly, anal sex is safe for most people. Ask your doctor if you have any medical conditions, such as hemorrhoids.

You should know that the skin inside the anus is more prone to tearing than the skin inside the vagina, particularly because it has no natural lubricant. In addition, anal sex has a significantly higher risk for transmission of HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and infections (STIs). The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommends always using condoms during anal sex.

Water-based lubricants decrease friction and minimize the risk of bacterial infections and STIs. Lube is also important to achieve what you wanted in the first place—pleasure. There’s no way to sugarcoat it: Anal sex can be uncomfortable, but lube can make penetration much easier, and the more you use, the better.

The golden rule is that if either partner feels anything more than minor discomfort, you should stop immediately.

Finally, remember that the anal canal is full of bacteria—it’s designed for poop, after all. Avoid any contamination between the anus and vagina. You already know not to wipe back to front, and the same principle applies to insertion: If something is inserted in the anus, it should never travel from there to the vagina.

How to prepare

If you’re new to anal sex, you might share a common concern about how clean the process will be.

The rectum is designed to keep poop way up inside you before you’re ready to let it out, so neither a long penis nor toy should reach any feces. If you do decide to clean out beforehand, an enema is your best bet. Be sure to pick a product that uses only unscented, normal saline. If you don’t douche—you shouldn’t—just clean your anus well and you should be ready to go.

Another important preparation is psychological: talking with your partner. Make clear any concerns, and commit to honest communication about discomfort. A great idea is to experiment on your own first (if you haven’t already) or start with small toys (butt plugs and trainer sets) to help you get used to the sensation before a penis or dildo enters your anus.

Again, relax, and use lots of lube.

How to enjoy it

Did we already say relax? Because you really should relax. Once you get your head in the right space, your body will follow.

Anal sex can be incredibly hot, and if you’re ready for it—as in, lubed up—any pain is a much lesser concern. Start slow and shallow and see how you feel. Once the anal sphincter is penetrated, you’ll discover the sensation of fullness is extremely exciting. And when your partner gets going? Well, that’s when it gets really fun. Keep a towel handy for any smears afterward, and don’t panic if there’s a little bit of blood. That’s normal.

Amp it up!

In addition to fingers and tongues (yes, the tongue is good), there are endless toys for anal play, such as dildos, strap-ons, butt plugs and anal beads, to name a few. Whether you’re an amateur or a pro, there’s something to provide an exciting new twist to your sex life.

Clitoral stimulation or vaginal penetration at the same time as anal intercourse can be out of this world. You’ll experience sensations from more erotic zones than you ever knew you had.