Sex: Myths & Misconceptions

There isn't a right or a wrong way to have sex, but there is misinformation out there that may cause some concern. As we know, sex education doesn't always get to the root of what's true and what's a myth—a lot of advice gets muddied, which further perpetuates people believing just about anything that's passed by word of mouth. And with information traveling faster than ever through social media, television, movies and other forms of media, it's safe to say we hear a lot of false information surrounding sex.

To help you stay more informed in the bedroom, we debunked five common myths related to sex.

Myth: Men are always horny.

Reality: Going by what films, TV shows and pop songs portray, men are horny creatures who constantly think about sex. And while it's true that men have more testosterone—a hormone that influences libido—than women, testosterone level isn't the only thing that determines sex drive. Medications, stress, personality, lifestyle, diet, sleep, insecurities and many other factors can influence how often a man thinks about or wants sex. It's perfectly normal for a man to want sex less often than a woman, though people may be happiest with a partner whose sex drive matches their own.

Myth: Women don't need to have an orgasm during sex.

Reality: It's no secret that it's generally easier for men to achieve orgasms than women. That's partially due to the fact that the vagina is much less sensitive than the clitoris, so penetration alone often fails to stimulate women enough (only 18 percent of women orgasm from penetration alone, according to a study published in 2017 in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy). However, women haven't collectively decided to throw in the towel and accept this "orgasm gap." Most women would love nothing more than to climax during a sexual encounter and enjoy that release just as much as men do. If penetrative sex alone isn't doing the trick, that's simply a cue to try something else, such as adding in a sex toy, using more lube or making sure she orgasms during foreplay.

Myth: You can't get pregnant during your period.

Reality: On the day that a woman gets her period (day one of her monthly cycle), her body sheds the egg that wasn't fertilized during the previous cycle. If her cycle were to function perfectly like magical clockwork (ha!), she wouldn't ovulate again for exactly 14 days. However, human bodies don't function like magic or clockwork, and most women don't get their periods every 28 days on the dot. As any woman who's tried to get pregnant can tell you, ovulation can be highly irregular and unpredictable. It's possible (and not uncommon) for a woman to ovulate early, as well as for sperm to survive in the vagina for as long as five days. So, yes, you might not be ovulating while you have your period, but if sperm remains in your vagina and an egg is released early during the following cycle, that period sex could absolutely result in a pregnancy.

Myth: Condoms ruin sex for men.

Reality: Condoms remain one of the most widely used and effective forms of birth control for a reason: They're easy to get, nonhormonal and protect against pregnancy as well as some STIs. However, many men say that condoms dull the sensation, or that they can't maintain an erection while wearing one. While protected sex will never feel exactly the same as unprotected sex, choosing the right condom and using adequate lube is often enough to ensure that men still enjoy the experience and achieve orgasm. For the small percentage of men who claim they can't even maintain an erection while wearing a condom, studies have shown that these men typically have general erectile dysfunction (ED) issues that go beyond condom use. In those cases, a little extra education about how to correctly wear a condom can help, as well as switching to a larger-diameter condom if the fit feels too tight. If all else fails, see a doctor to determine if there's another physical or psychological issue behind the ED.

Myth: Sex should be like it is in porn.

Reality: Porn is exaggerated, highly staged, fantasy entertainment designed to quickly arouse its watchers. It's absolutely not indicative of the sex the average person has on a regular basis. Consider this: Porn actors prepare for their scenes with diet, exercise, hair, makeup, lighting and a full camera crew, not to mention less glamorous tasks like enemas, STD testing and faking everything from moans and screams to orgasms and ejaculation. In reality, people don't look "camera-ready" for sex. Men don't magically maintain a perfect erection for 30 minutes. People sometimes leave their shirts on or have morning breath. Not everyone orgasmically shouts or even makes any noise at all when they experience pleasure. And many people don't feel completely uninhibited and try five different positions every time. Porn can inspire you and excite you and give you ideas to try, but please don't confuse it for reality or "the norm."​