When you start dating someone new, certain roadblocks are hard to avoid. Maybe it’s going well, so you start to project into the future and forget to be present. Or, perhaps you’ve been burned before so you’re worried about getting too close too fast and therefore put up a wall. These issues come down to different approaches to attachment and striking a balance in how you see your budding partnership can be a challenge.

There are three main styles of attachment identified in adults: secure, anxious-preoccupied and dismissive-avoidant. If you have a secure type of attachment, you hold a positive self-image and image of others and feel confident your partner will be there for you when you need support. Those with an anxious-preoccupied style of attachment may hold a negative self-image but a positive image of others and are overly concerned or obsessive about the unpredictability of a relationship. If you’re in the dismissive-avoidant category, you likely have a positive self-image