Having an Abortion With an Unsupportive Partner
Abortion is a complicated topic and an even more complex choice for women: Making the decision to have an abortion can be overwhelming and emotional for some women, while others might feel empowered.
However, if you've decided abortion is the right choice for you but your partner can't get on board, here are some tips to consider.
1. Talk about your decision (if you can)
Opening up to your partner about why you want an abortion or, rather, why you don't want a baby right now—or ever—can help them understand your choice better. Will having a baby prevent you from taking advantage of an upcoming opportunity? Are you worried about the financial aspects of raising a child? Or maybe you just don't want to become a mother, and having a baby isn't something you want to consider.
Whatever your reasons, know they're valid. Sharing them in a healthy relationship should help your partner better understand your perspective. It's also important to discuss if your partner wants kids and you do not. It might be a hard conversation, but having it can help you work through any confusion and difficult feelings.
If you're finding it hard to talk about your decision, try writing down your thoughts. This might be an easier way to organize your feelings and share them without getting too emotional and end up forgetting to say something important to you.
2. Put your relationship into perspective
No one is ever excited about the idea of getting an abortion, but making this decision might lead to further insights into the relationship you have with your partner. Making the decision to have an abortion typically requires you to take stock of your life, including an assessment of where you are currently as well as your goals and future plans.
With the caveat that this might mean you don't see yourself with your partner long term or that you both have different ideas about parenthood, this is an extremely important conversation to have. But if your partner isn't supporting your decision, your next step has to be to take a cold hard look at your relationship and decide if this is the person you should really be with.
3. Talk to a friend or family member
No one should ever have to go through an abortion alone. Even if you've decided to take the abortion pill, you're bound to be emotional at best and not feeling at all well for a few days at worst. Either way, if talking to your partner doesn't bring you comfort or support, telling a close friend or family member who can help you through the process and take care of you for a few days after the procedure can make recovering easier.
4. Connect with a support group
There are many women's support groups out there, particularly through social media sites like Facebook, where you'll find like-minded women who understand what you're going through and who can help you feel less alone.
Making the choice to have an abortion can feel scary and huge. It's important to remember that even if you don't have a support system in your life that you can turn to, many other women have been in your shoes.
Of course, you should try to find common ground with your partner. But if that's not going to happen, reach out to friends and family. And if that's not an option, look for a women's support group—either in your local area or online—to help you.
Abortion is a medical procedure that is currently illegal or restricted in some portions of the United States. For more information about the legality of abortion in your area, please consult a local healthcare provider.