"So young and so fat. What a lazy pig."

"Not into fatties."

As a gay man with a constant weight struggle, I have to deal with rejection every now and then—especially on dating apps. I am attracted to fit-looking guys. I can't help it. But 9 out of 10 turn me down. After being let down by apps time after time, I surrendered to the temptation of "looking good" and decided to take a risk via steroid cycles.

I've dabbled in steroids in the past, and earlier this year, after periods of sexual frustration and coping with COVID-19 restrictions, I decided to enter yet another cycle. For a time, it worked.

Unfortunately, due to my own carelessness, I got COVID-19 myself and was forced into self-isolation for 14 days. Sure enough, I began to gain weight. And this time, I'm struggling to lose it. My trainer (who also provides me with steroids) refuses to give me another cycle unless I lose some weight naturally.

After being let down by apps time after time, I surrendered to the temptation of 'looking good' and decided to take a risk via steroid cycles.

Because of my