How to Liven Up the Missionary Position

If you wanted to invent a phrase to convey the idea of boring, vanilla, hetero sex, you could hardly do better than "the missionary position."

It's a widely held belief that the name derives from 19th-century Christian missionaries in the Pacific Islands. Legend has it the natives mocked the churchmen for their teachings in the "proper" way to have sex as a Christian: with the man on top, and presumably in a manner that's joyless, quick and with minimal eye contact.

But it turns out the phrase was probably coined much later. It only appeared in print for the first time in 1948, with the publication of sex researcher Alfred Kinsey's groundbreaking book "Sexual Behavior in the Human Male," when he erroneously referenced a previous researcher's use of the term.

Regardless of the name's origin, the missionary position's association with a certain kind of bland sex has stuck over the years. Kinsey even referred to it at times as the Mama-Papa position—and everyone knows how hot it is to think about that.

Not to fear, though, as there are several stylistic approaches to the missionary position that can fire things up in the bedroom while still preserving all the intimacy of being face-to-face and skin-to-skin with your partner.

Rock it

Whether or not the phrase "missionary position" originated with those grim, mirthless religious proselytizers in the Pacific Islands all those years ago, their partners' sexual pleasure was probably not a priority for them. However, if you're practicing missionary with a lady friend, you can try this "rocking" technique and amplify her enjoyment of missionary tremendously.

Instead of just rabbiting away at her while you're propped up on your hands, move your body as close to her as possible with your penis fully inside her. This should put your pubic bone in contact with her clitoris, giving you a great angle to grind your pelvis against hers. Start gently at first, always keeping your penis more or less fully inside her and only moving it minimally. The focus should be on maintaining contact with her clitoris through your pubic bone and stimulating her as you gently rock back and forth. It's also a great time to explore kissing her face and her neck, and maybe play with holding down her wrists if she's into that sort of thing.

Even if you're doing missionary with a non-female partner, getting up close and personal can still deepen the intimacy and spice factor. That skin-on-skin contact works wonders for pairings of any gender and sex arrangement.

Elevate your game

Even a minimal change in your penetrative angle can make a world of difference. Try putting a pillow under your partner's hips and butt, lifting them up off the bed a bit. It sounds super-basic, but that slight elevation can allow you to reach new depths and move in surprisingly different ways than those to which you're accustomed.

Be a shallow Hal

This is another adaptation that's most advantageous if you're partnered up with a woman. "Shallowing" is a technique that capitalizes on the sensitivity of all areas of the woman's vulva, the external parts of her genitalia. While deep thrusting feels great for both you and her, you can mix things up and excite her between deep thrusts by playing a bit of the "just the tip" game. Pull back until your penis is just barely inside her. Some short movements here just inside the sensitive labia majora and minora can tease and excite you both in anticipation of going all the way in again.

Another technique is to pull out altogether for a few moments and run the tip or shaft of your penis up and down her vaginal opening. Rubbing it against her clitoris can really ramp up her excitement.

Legs ahoy

Don't forget about playing with repositioning your partner's legs. There are the classics such as legs wrapped around you or on your shoulders if they've got the flexibility for it. But also try changing your penetrative angle by hitching one of their legs up higher and gripping the hip, essentially pulling them onto you as you slide in and out.

There is, of course, a whole universe of sex positions. But in many ways, missionary contains worlds of its own. Plus, there's no beating the intimacy of locking eyes with your partner while you're as physically close as it's possible for two humans to be.