Editor's note: Some sources for this article requested their full names and locations not be used.
Though there's obviously a gray area, for the most part, typical desires such as admiring a nice penis, making out with a crush or pleasuring women aren't considered fetishes. So when I recently met a cute boy at a bar who whispered to me that his fetish was giving women pleasure, I raised an eyebrow. While my first thought was "Hell ya, this one is a giver," my second thought was "Is that even a fetish?"
Nazanin Moali, a sex therapist in California, described a fetish as the "eroticization of an object or body part that others would not consider to be sexually relevant." Specifically, common fetishes include body parts (feet, legs), objects (shoes, underwear), activities (smoking, sneezing), bodily fluids (urine, scat) and acts done to the body (shaving, bondage, piercing). This is slightly different than a kink, which is an umbrella term that includes all less common sexual desires, including BDSM, group sex, cuckolding and more.
People with fetishes are often stereotyped as being so fixated on their fetish object that they