6 Ways to Make Masturbation Fun Again
Masturbation, especially among men, can sometimes be devalued as little more than a chore. They do it the same way for years on end with little more than the end result in mind. It's a recipe for falling into a rut.
The activity should prove an intimate time that naturally cultivates one of the most important relationships in a guy's life: the one with his body. If your appreciation of your private time has diminished, you may try to implement new methods of masturbation.
1. Edging is a buzzword for good reason
Masturbation doesn't have to be one and done, according to certified sex expert Isabelle Uren. The Denmark-based Uren recommended extending your sexual session with edging.
"Let your arousal build until you feel like you are about to come, and then stop and take a few deep breaths to let the orgasm subside before starting up again," she said. "You can repeat this as many times as you want to build up the tension before letting yourself orgasm."
2. Switch your grip
Los Angeles-based urologist Joshua Gonzalez, M.D., suggested reconsidering the "how" of your masturbation method.
"Switching up your grip can be a healthy way of keeping your penis on its toes," he said. "Too often, men settle into a masturbatory routine that involves gripping their penis tightly and moving their hand very quickly. Over time, this trains the penis to only get off from one kind of stimulation. And sometimes that stimulation is hard to reproduce with a partner."
Uren has even more specific advice for grip, recommending guys try to use their thumb or other fingers to stimulate their frenulum, the sensitive spot on the underside of the penis where the foreskin meets the shaft.
"Many people find it's the most sensitive part of the penis," she said. "It pays to give it some attention."
3. You're worth the foreplay
Foreplay is usually considered a prelude done with others, but why not extend that extra attention to yourself? Visual pornography is one type of foreplay, but Gonzalez has plenty of potential add-ins.
"Foreplay before masturbation can include nipple stimulation, sensual rubbing [and] anal stimulation," he said. "Getting revved up is half the fun of masturbation, so take your time."
4. Get to know your anus from the outside
The prostate is full of promise for pleasure, but some men may feel intimidated by self-penetration. The first step to accessing your anus can be done from the outside by stimulating your perineum, which is the area between the anus and the genitals.
"Start slow. And use lots of lube," Gonzalez said. "I usually suggest that people apply perineal pressure before shoving something inside [the anus]. Pressure in this area can be very stimulating. If you like the way it feels, then start by inserting a finger. Once inside, if you point the tip of your finger toward your belly button, you should hit the prostate. When the fireworks start, you know you're in the right spot."
Guys who find they enjoy prostate stimulation can always move on to a prostate massager or a toy. Don't worry about any seemingly out-of-place sensations.
"When you find the right spot, you might feel like you need to pee, but that just means you are in the right place," Uren said. "Now you can experiment with different speeds and intensities of massage to figure out what feels best."
5. New positions aren't just for partnered sex
An easy way to get out of a rut is to move around.
"If you usually masturbate sitting down in a chair, try standing up in the shower or kneeling on the bed," Uren said. "As well as having some novelty factor, masturbating standing up has many wonderful benefits, as it encourages you to engage more of your body as you masturbate. Standing also makes it easier to thrust your hips as you would during partnered sex, which increases circulation and improves blood flow to your pelvic region."
Gonzalez suggested getting creative, going beyond lying on your back or standing up. Lie with your stomach on the bed instead. Get on all fours. Heck, even throw your legs over your head.
6. Invest in a toy
So far, all of these methods have been free. However, great masturbation can be absolutely worth spending some money on male sex toys.
"There are masturbation toys that vibrate, pulse and even suck, all of which can take your jerk-off time to the next level," Gonzalez said. "Adding in some anal stimulation can also really notch up your pleasure. I would say starting with a masturbation sleeve—something without too many bells and whistles—is probably a good place to start."
Uren pointed out that your hands are great tools—they've worked for you for years, right?—but she suggested some common options men can try in an attempt to build even a modest sex toy collection.
"Many penis owners start with a stroker, as they are unintimidating, easy to use and most similar to masturbating with your hands," she said. "The inner sleeves have different textures to create a new range of sensations, and they come in a range of styles, so you can choose between a realistic vagina or anus or a more neutral design."
A chance to extend your comfort zone
The most common expressed downside of male masturbation is that it's less significant than partnered sex because no one else is involved. But masturbation can be a method of preparation for partnered sex, as well as a deeply comforting and wonderful solo activity. Uren used testicular play as an example of a typically partnered sexual activity that's worth exploring on your own.
"It's almost always easier to discover what you do and don't like during masturbation, as you can make adjustments to figure out what your body enjoys," she said. "If you didn't enjoy your partner playing with your testicles, you might find you need to vary the type of touch, speed or pressure. You might also realize that testicle play just isn't for you, and that's perfectly OK."
Masturbation is a great time to show yourself the attention typically reserved for a lover, not just to get yourself off but to learn what is and isn't for you.