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Sex - Overview | March 9, 2021, 5:46 CST

The Rise People Get From Pegging Their Partners

Wielding a strap-on can help change gender norms in the bedroom.
Rachel Mantock

Written by

Rachel Mantock
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While it's not an exact science, pegging—typically defined as a sexual act where a woman penetrates her male partner anally with a strap-on dildo—is believed to be pleasurable because it stimulates a collection of nerves called the prostatic plexus, according to a 2017 study in Clinical Anatomy. The same study presented a "brain rewiring" theory, whereby this style of prostate stimulation becomes more arousing and more pleasurable the more often it's repeated. According to this theory, the rewiring happens because of heightened sensations stemming from changing brain plasticity, triggered by repetitive behavior.

But what type of experience do people with vulvas who peg their sex partners have? We spoke to three people who, despite seeming physically detached from the object that's immediately pleasing their partners, find their own satisfaction through the act. They emphasized how the misconceptions, stereotypes and "othering" of this type of sex isn't doing any favors for the givers, receivers or just about anyone intrigued by the act.

Girl on the Net, 36

While dominance is sometimes involved in the act of pegging, author and sex blogger Girl on the Net is usually cast in a more submissive role.

Girl on the Net got into the practice of pegging during college after she went shopping for a harness and dildo with a partner. The apparatus is designed to be held in place with a belt worn by the person performing the penetration. During her first experience, Girl on the Net said she and the partner were both so excited by the "novelty" of pegging that by the time they actually began, her partner orgasmed almost immediately.

"I don't get any physical pleasure from pegging,” Girl on the Net said, explaining that the rise she gets from the act instead comes from seeing how much her partner enjoys it. She added that in her experience, men always seem to have stronger orgasms if their prostates are stimulated at the same time as their penis. "I get off on that," she said.

While the mainstream view of pegging is penetrating a partner from a dominant position while the receiver operates in a more submissive role—often bent over—Girl on the Net said this isn't always the case. Instead, she explained, some of the most enlightening experiences she has while pegging are when she lies back and lets the man sit on top of her and do most of the work.

Bella, 25

Contrastingly, Bella thrives in the more dominant role while pegging her boyfriend, during which mutual physical pleasure is key. Bella said that because she also wants to be physically stimulated during the act, she uses a "strapless strap-on" that features two penetrative ends—one for each consenting partner, both of which vibrate.

In terms of power play, for Bella, pegging her boyfriend is a complete "role reversal" where she feels dominant and in complete control. Experimenting with pegging was the beginning of Bella's "femme dom" journey and it opened the doors to more explorative sexual play.

"Women should know that pegging is as much about your pleasure, too," she said.

Quinn Rhodes, 23

Transmasculine, genderfluid blogger Quinn Rhodes—who writes about navigating queer sex and dealing with vaginismus—said that watching partners perform fellatio on his silicone penis offers a significant turn-on.

"I don't get much physical stimulation from it, apart from the base of the dildo bumping against my vulva,” he explained. “But it's still incredibly powerful and sexy. It plays into some gender feelings." Rhodes said that when he pegs a partner, it doesn't feel dominating but instead comes with a sense of security. "It makes me feel confident," he said.

As for pegging being perceived as "taboo," Rhodes rejects the thesis. "Why should it?" he asked. By categorizing pegging as being on the kink spectrum, it implies that some types of sex are the gold standard while everything else exists as "other." This excludes the LGBTQIA+ community from how we think about sex.

Society presents pegging as a play on gender roles because being penetrated is framed as something that is supposed to happen to women. However, for Rhodes and those in queer spaces, being penetrated is not typically considered a male or female act. In actuality, strap-on devices can play into gender affirmation for trans and nonbinary people, and can help transform perceptions of sex for both parties in remarkable ways.

Rachel Mantock

Written by

Rachel Mantock