The Bare Essentials: The Psychology Behind Spanking

Of all the fetishes people enjoy, spanking is typically among the most common. From the "Queen of Pinups," Bettie Page, to Ricky spanking Lucy in several episodes of "I Love Lucy" in the 1950s to the 2015 movie "50 Shades of Grey," spanking has always been in the zeitgeist to some degree. Plus, it's also a very popular search term on adult video sites online.

While we can point to these references in our recent popular culture and erotica, the kink dates back many centuries.

What is it about spanking that gets people going? And is it really about discipline and being punished? The truth is it's one of those kinks that are multifaceted, and people have very specific relationships with it.

Let's take a look at the history behind spanking and talk to some sex therapists to get some insight into why people love it so much.

A brief history of spanking

One of the first recorded instances of spanking can be found in the "Kama Sutra," an ancient Indian Sanskrit textbook on sexuality, eroticism and emotional fulfillment believed to have been published between 400 B.C.E. and 300 C.E. Spanking also made an appearance in a couple of medieval texts from the range of 1150 C.E. to 1400 C.E.

There is also a fresco depicting two men flogging a woman for sexual pleasure at the Tomb of the Whipping, which dates back to the fifth century B.C.E. The Etruscan tomb, found in 1960 by archaeologist Carlo Maurilio Lerici, is located an hour outside of Rome in the Necropolis of Monterozzi near Tarquinia, Lazio, Italy.

Sadomasochism has been an area of intense interest for scholars, artists and psychologists over the past 1,000 years. Sigmund Freud, an Austrian neurologist and the founder of psychoanalysis, studied spanking from the standpoint of childhood punishment. He believed these early interactions of being spanked for misdeeds could result in adults with sadomasochistic tendencies.

Since Freud, BDSM—bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism—and the subculture it encompasses has become a larger field of study for everyone from anthropologists to sociologists, psychologists, gender scholars and sex therapists.

At the turn of the 19th century, sexual gratification and its relationship to spanking could be seen in many forms of erotic literature and pornographic images being produced at the time. Part of the uptick in this practice was a result of the developments in photography and the ability to print images, papers and books more easily. The growing interest in writing about spanking developed an indie audience for novellas that directly related to the kink.

Spanking became popular in the United States and Europe during the 1920s and 1930s. During the 1950s, in particular, when husband-and-wife stereotypes were used to promote household products to stay-at-home wives, there were even ads that depicted husbands spanking their wives as an encouraged form of discipline.

In the mid-20th century, erotic and fetish magazines, spanking imagery and erotic stories were circulated widely. However, there was nothing like today's easy accessibility via the internet, where access to various porn websites specializing in spanking are now easier to find than ever.

The psychology of spanking

Many factors can spark a kink and how someone derives sexual arousal and pleasure from it. For spanking, factors to consider include a person's other sexual likes as well as their gender, sexuality, personality and desires.

In general, there are a variety of ways to spank. Of course, bare-handed spanking is easy as it requires no extra tools, but some people enjoy using switches, belts, floggers, paddles, wooden spoons and hairbrushes. The choice also depends on the kind of interaction between the spanker and spankee, whether it's a friendly slap in bed during a sexual romp or formally bending a partner over a chair.

When people are sexually aroused, a number of physical, mental and chemical reactions occur in the body. When we touch one another in both sexual and nonsexual ways, the brain releases oxytocin, a powerful chemical that is nicknamed the "love hormone." Spanking may seem like an extreme way to "touch" someone, but combined with other forms of sexual arousal, it can lead to a heightened state.

Spanking can also play a part in roleplaying games in the bedroom.

"Spanking can perpetuate a power dynamic where the person doing the spanking is holding the power at a given moment," explained Nikita Fernandes, M.A., M.H.C.-L.P., a sex psychotherapist based in New York City. "This power exchange can make the kink very alluring to people who might hold power in other areas of their life and are looking to let go of control and be spanked.

"For the person giving the spanking, the fetish can be rooted in control of holding the power and authority to spank someone," Fernandes added. "It's important to note that spanking is a power exchange, because someone is offering power and someone is taking hold of that power."

Communication is important

There are all kinds of reasons people engage in spanking, and there are a wide range of approaches. The most important factor before the action takes place is to be totally open and for all parties to communicate fully.

"People should approach spanking with an open and curious mind, but it's important to discuss safe words beforehand so that the person being spanked can be safe," Fernandes recommended.

"There can be many arousing and intriguing aspects of spanking that come up for people. It's best to ask what those are for that particular person," said Carolanne Marcantonio, L.C.S.W., a sex therapist based in Brooklyn, New York. "I have seen an interest in the sensation that [it] gives their hand to the exhilarating excitement of receiving that sensation and everything in between." 

She noted there is a BDSM aspect to spanking because it often falls in the dominance and submission category.

"Spanking falls into BDSM because it is an act that can fit into any one of those categories," she said. "The people involved choose what aspects of BDSM they want to play out with spanking based on their own interests. The particular aspect of a kink that turns a person on is unique to that person. Having a conversation about it is the best way to create understanding."

While there has been some recent mainstreaming of spanking—especially with the popularity of the "50 Shades" books and movies—the bottom line is it's not everyone's thing. Sexuality and people's sexual interests and desires are fluid, and any opportunity for a spanking should be discussed thoroughly between partners before play starts.

As with any kind of kink or fetish, engaging in aftercare is important and may look different for everyone. Maybe it involves having a conversation, sharing a glass of water or cuddling. You also may want to check in with each other during the proceedings

Ferndanes noted that aftercare allows people's emotional levels to regulate after a kink experience, and advised everyone to check in after the activity to discuss how it felt.

Getting a good spanking education

Whether you're a seasoned spanker or spankee, or new to the spanking community, there's always something new to learn. Here are some of the resources Fernandes and Marcantonio suggested:

Books

• "The New Topping Book," by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy
• "The Dominance Playbook: Ways to Play With Power in Scenes and Relationships," by Anton Fulmen
• "The Ultimate Guide to Kink," by Tristan Taormino

Apps

• Bloom Community has kink education events where people can learn from professionals and ask questions.

Workshops

• Bex Talks Sex offers online and in-person workshops with Bex Caputo, a sex educator, blogger, speaker and podcaster.
• Babeland, a well-regarded sex shop with locations across the United States, also offers a number of workshops and educational events on a regular basis.

As you learn more about spanking and other kinks, remember to always be open and honest with yourself and others. It's important to have fun but just as crucial to take care of yourself and others in the process.