How to Have a Perineal Orgasm
The perineum may be one of the last uncharted territories in the sexual health world. This little spot can help you have longer and stronger orgasms: Some adult toy brands are even calling perineum orgasms "the new type of orgasm."
The perineum—the bit of skin between the anus and genitalia—is like a bridge that can help you access a wider world of pleasure. Some people claim they can orgasm from touching the perineum alone.
While not everyone experiences the same intensity from stimulating this area, it can still be a fun erogenous zone to explore.
What is the perineum?
The perineum is the area between the genitals and the anus. Despite its potential, it's usually forgotten about in the bedroom.
In an article in Mel Magazine, Lanae St. John, a board-certified sexologist and founder of the sex education blog the Mama Sutra, said, "People are reluctant to discuss the perineum because it's uncomfortable. Some men have a visceral reaction to a mention of the word—they may hold some fear, however irrational, that any action toward the ass might make them homosexual."
Of course, anal play doesn't determine your sexuality. And women, too, don't realize the perineum can be just as much of an erogenous zone as the clitoris, breasts and nipples.
"The perineum is an area of skin that contains loads of nerve endings, making it responsive to stimulation," said Bailey Hanek, Psy.D., an AASECT-certified sex therapist in Massachusetts and a consultant for the Between Us Clinic, an online sex therapy clinic. "Since it's highly sensitive, it can be damaged by applying too much pressure, but gently massaging the area can be very pleasurable."
The perineum has many functions for your sexual health, including:
- Supporting and protecting the surrounding pelvic organs during childbirth
- Protecting the urinary tract from irritation and blockages
- Providing a point of contact for sexual partners during intercourse
Perineal damage can play a role in difficult or painful sex because it houses the pubococcygeal (PC) muscles. Keeping the PC muscles (and, thus, the perineum) strong with exercises such as Kegels can help both partners enjoy sex more.
Differences between the female and male perineum
In men, the perineum sits above the prostate gland, so stimulating the perineum can stimulate the prostate without penetration. This is great for men who aren't open to anal penetration but want to explore their so-called P-spot.
Otherwise, the female and male perineum are pretty much the same anatomically.
"The only difference is you can feel the female perineum from the vaginal wall," said Chelsie Reed, Ph.D., a mental health counselor in Arizona and author of "Sexpert: Desire, Passion, Sensations, Intimacy and Orgasm to Indulge in Your Best Sex Life."
"Many women give birth and get their perineum cut or torn, and the healing changes its texture, strength and ability to do its job until pelvic floor therapy restrengthens it," she added.
How to stimulate the perineum
As with stimulating any erogenous zone, what feels pleasurable varies for each individual, so keep an open mind and try different techniques to find your sweet spot.
"The kind of stimulation that produces a perineum orgasm will differ for each person depending on how sensitive the area is. Massage, vibration and oral stimulation are common ways to explore this pleasure spot," Hanek explained.
If you're new to stimulating the perineum, try a light massage as an introduction to exploring the area.
- Locate the perineum. An easy way to find the perineum is by lying on your back, pulling your knees up and angling them outward. You should be able to feel your perineum about midway between the vaginal opening and anus or halfway between the anus and testicles. The area should feel softer and fleshier than the surrounding areas. A word of caution: Men may feel an immediate need to urinate when pressing down on it.
- Start with light touches. Once you find the right spot, go slow and try gentle touches. You may also experiment with softly blowing on the area or using something soft and delicate to stimulate it.
- Add some pressure. You never want to be too rough on this sensitive area, but you can incorporate pressing a little more firmly, gentle tapping or even scratching. You can try kneading your fingers in clockwise and counterclockwise circular motions and massaging with your palm.
- Don't forget lubricant. For a full-on perineum massage, use a body-safe lubricant to make the massage more comfortable. Lube is a must if you end up stimulating and penetrating your partner's anus during or after the massage as well.
Some people are very sensitive in this area, so gentle stroking of the tongue can provide plenty of stimulation. When you're giving oral sex to your partner, you can incorporate light tongue stroking on the perineal area and see how they respond.
Massage with toys
More adventurous partners may want to experiment with toys explicitly designed for stimulating the perineum during sex. These wearable vibrators fit around the penis and can stimulate the partner's perineum when they're positioned downward.
You can also try placing the head of a wand vibrator against the perineum. If you find that it's too sensitive, use the vibrator over your underwear or a sheet.
Take your time to explore what feels best
When stimulating the perineum, don't make orgasm the priority. Of course, you or your partner might have a very sensitive perineum and find stimulation produces the greatest orgasm you've ever had. Others may find touching the perineum pleasurable, but they might not fully climax from it.
The next time you're having a one-on-one session with yourself or your partner, give the forgotten perineum some love. Whether it's touch, oral stimulation or with toys, you just may find your new favorite spot.