"I want to come, too!"— a statement responsible for shattering my ego and fragile masculinity. She was sitting across from me, in the passenger seat. I gasped in disbelief, and grumbled some nonsense like, "Didn't you come?" She responded in the negative. Megan Thee Stallion's iconic line from "Freak Nasty" came to mind: "You know I ain't come boy if you had to ask me."

We sat in silence. The desire to experience an orgasm seemed reasonable enough, but I was caught between embarrassment, frustration, compassion and sorrow. She broke the silence: "It's not that I don't enjoy sex with you. It's just that I want to come, too."

The situation felt hopeless. I did what the guys on Xvideos did to the best of my ability: relied on speed, force and dominance in every position. My girlfriend was still unsatisfied. I couldn't help but wonder how many partners in the past were also unsatisfied due to their unwillingness to have this difficult conversation.

Messed-up messages