I remained a virgin until age 29.

That’s not a fact I regularly share with folks, but when I do, it’s almost always met with surprise—especially these days.

It was my own choice to wait so long. I originally thought I would remain a virgin until marriage, but I fell in love with a coworker in my late 20s. The decision to have sex became clear as soon as we started dating.

A few dates in, the big night finally arrived. She asked if I wanted to spend the weekend at her place, so I had to calm myself down, battling both excitement and nerves. We had dinner, and then she asked if I wanted to go upstairs. I very much did.

After about an hour of foreplay, it was time.

Just one problem: Nothing happened.

At all.

Waiting until 29 to have sex had put an incredible amount of pressure on that first time. Now imagine a failure to get an erection in the moment you’