10 Ways Men Can Achieve Super-Intense Orgasms: Part Two
Someone once said an orgasm is like a pizza: There's no such thing as a bad one.
To which a thinking person might reply, "Yeah, maybe, but sometimes there's sure as hell room for improvement!"
The world of pizza largely comes down to personal taste. But when it comes to orgasms, men face some common challenges as they get older. Here are some ways you can improve the quality and quantity of your orgasms—none of which involve putting pineapple on the proverbial pizza, thankfully.
And just to state the obvious if you missed the headline, this is Part Two. Click here to read Part One.
6. Keep it real
Have realistic expectations for your age. While it may have been so easy for the teenage-you to orgasm that you achieved it during sleep, as you get older it probably won't be as effortless.
"We can't assume that a man simply putting his dick in a vagina will lead to an orgasm," said Amy Pearlman, M.D., a urologist and the director of men's health at the Carver College of Medicine at University of Iowa Health Care. "We understand that with women, that most women don't orgasm with penovaginal intercourse. Some men can't orgasm that way either."
Not only that, but as men get older and their bodies change, so does their sexual physiology, which affects how they orgasm.
"As a man gets older—and let's say he puts on weight and doesn't get good erections for a period of time—his penis can shrink, both in length and girth," Pearlman explained. "You also have to consider the partner's body and how their body may change. So let's say they have a female partner who has pushed several babies out of her vagina. That vagina is not going to be as tight as it was before. So expecting to get to orgasm with penovaginal intercourse when that guy can't feel it on his penis is no longer a realistic expectation."
7. Diet and exercise
One way you can help yourself to better orgasms is by treating your body better. Proper diet and exercise have been shown to help men achieve better erections and better orgasms.
"Anti-inflammatory things like fruits and vegetables are generally going to be good for genital tissue," Pearlman said. "Exercise, in general, is good for the tissue. So if it's good for erections, it's probably going to be good for orgasms. There is evidence that says that systemic exercise—moving our bodies and exercising our genital parts—is good for genital function."
And, for the sake of your nuts, consider adding nuts to your diet. One 2018 study published in the journal Nutrients indicated men on a Mediterranean diet could significantly improve erectile function and orgasmic function by adding 60 grams of nuts to their daily diet.
8. Stop focusing on your penis
The thing about having great sex and great orgasms is that, counterintuitively, the more you focus on it, the more you may impede yourself. So stop centering your intentions on the endgame and, instead, take the time to explore your partner and what you're doing together.
"If you were to take a poll today and ask, 'How do you know when sex is over?', most people would probably say when someone has reached an orgasm," said Jen Brunet, M.S.W., a licensed sex therapist with TriHealth Clinic in Kingston, Ontario. "That kind of pigeonholes us into this one type of sex, this one aspect. There are other pieces in between that. The goal of intensifying orgasms is kind of drawing out that middle between where sex starts and where sex ends—extending that part in the middle."
9. Identify the problem
Having an orgasm means reaching a peak state of arousal, and this involves a complex set of neurological processes from your brain, brainstem and spinal cord, as well as your hormones, emotions, physical stimulation, visual stimulus and more. It isn't like flipping a switch.
If you're having problems reaching orgasm, do some analysis to figure out what might be stopping you.
"I see so many men in the office who, when I say, 'Do you masturbate?', they say no," Pearlman said. "And I'm like, 'Well, you should.' You've got to see if you can get off by yourself. Is it a partner thing? Is it an anxiety thing? It's very helpful when someone says, 'Well, I can get off when I'm by myself and watching porn, but not when I'm with someone else.' OK, well then it's more like a psychological thing or an environmental thing versus a physical thing."
10. Get in on the (pelvic) ground floor
Current research indicates issues with pelvic floor muscles could affect men's sexual function much more frequently than previously thought. However, be aware that the typical advice to do Kegel exercises to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles may be outdated.
"When people think of the pelvic floor, they think of Kegel exercises," Pearlman said. "It's actually not that simple. What I see all the time in men is they carry their stress in their pelvis. So instead of teaching them how to strengthen their pelvic floor, they have to learn how to relax various aspects of their pelvic floor muscles."
Pearlman frequently refers patients to pelvic floor therapists who can help them identify which muscles they need to relax and which ones need to be strengthened. That can go a long way toward improving orgasms and other aspects of sexual functioning.
"When someone orgasms and ejaculates, it's the rhythmic contraction of the pelvic floor muscles," she noted. "People have incredible control over their erections and their orgasms when they have an understanding of those muscles."
Sex is something we can enjoy well into our senior years. In order to get the most out of sex later in life, we may need to manage our expectations and adopt some new strategies for our approach.
Like the old adage says: Work—or play—smarter, not harder.