Giddy Presents The Naked Truth: Can I Trust After Being Cheated On?

I'm an AASECT-certified sex therapist and licensed professional counselor-supervisor, based in Austin, Texas. I've been in practice for 14 years, including working in corporate settings, higher education and private practice.

If you have questions you want to be answered in future columns, send me an email at askgiddy@getmegiddy.com. Privacy in all matters of intimacy is very important to me and any questions answered in this column will be entirely anonymous.

Enough about me, let's talk sex.

I have a lot of confidence in myself. I eat healthy, work out and have a great friend group. I still struggle with finding myself in sex and relationships. After being cheated on by a person I thought I would end up with forever, I tried to just focus on work and myself. But I still can't resist the energy and connection for certain partners who I can't bring myself to commit to. What am I missing? How do I ever trust someone again?

Alex in Illinois

The pain we feel from being betrayed by a partner can stay with us as a trauma for a long time. I like to view this trauma as "character building" and use it as an experience to learn from within our life story.

Choosing a healthy lifestyle is a great plan for rebuilding your identity and it creates an opportunity to be empowered with healthy energy. I also like that when choosing a new significant other or while engaging with new people on the "dating train," you have a lot more to offer because you are more solid in sharing important interests and hobbies.

Trust and respect are what healthy relationships are built upon. However, my real question for you is this, "Are you ready to trust yourself?"

The fear of being cheated on again can be manipulative in your future decision-making. The fact that you're considering whether or not you can trust or even love someone the same again is a healthy sign of the progress and growth you have made in your journey. Trust, as some say, is earned through words and actions. I offer trust to all new people because they have not displayed betrayal to me at this point.

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I think rebuilding ourselves emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually and sexually after a devastating end to a previous relationship adds to our existing great selves, and creates more depth to who we are evolving into within our journeys.

Only you can decide where you're at in your healing process, and it's OK to be a little nervous when meeting new people.

You are taking the right steps for you and your progress. Allow others in as the time becomes right and I assure you, with healthy steps and practice of communication and self-reflection, you will be able to love and trust again in a healthy way.

Again, I'm not shy, so feel free to ask me anything. Remember, this will always be anonymous. If you have any questions about relationships, sexual activities or your partners, let me know. Tell me your first name and the state you live in so I can attribute your question. Please email me at askgiddy@getmegiddy.com. We will always respect your privacy.