How to Have Sex in Your Car
The idea of having sex in a car brings back awkward memories of fumbling high school encounters—not anything most of us are keen to repeat as adults. But there are advantages to coaxing your sex life out of the bedroom and into the motor vehicle of your choice. Aside from the obvious benefit of not having to wait until you get home—especially true while road-tripping—sex on the go can liven up your intimate encounters, injecting these experiences with a sense of spontaneity, urgency and fun.
"Having sex the same way all the time is very much like going on the same date over and over again," said Kyle Zrenchik, Ph.D., a couples and sex therapist in Minnetonka, Minnesota. "There's only so many times you can eat chicken parmesan. Your taste evolves, your eroticism should evolve, too."
The car makes a perfect transitional space for sex beyond your front door—not outside, exactly, but certainly more adventurous than behind the tightly shut blinds of a bedroom. And the good news is, car sex can be way hotter if both parties have a firm grasp on what they're doing. Here are some tips to take your auto-erotic adventures (not that kind) from fumbling to firing on all cylinders.
Location, location, location
But first, a caveat: In most states, having sex in a car—or, indeed, anywhere in public—is illegal. To avoid an unpleasant encounter with the law (or scarring kind strangers who are simply heading home from the market), scope out a location ahead of time. "Pick a place that you are really confident doesn't get a lot of traffic," Zrenchik recommended. Look for service roads, highway exits without gas stations, even a spot in the way back of an industrial complex late at night (although that, admittedly, might offer a more murder-y vibe than you're aiming for).
If you have a car or truck with a tailgate, consider dropping the seats all the way down so you'll have more privacy and space. And don't repeat the mistake of Jack and Rose in "Titanic" by forgetting to crack the windows: Fogged-up glass is hot, but it's also a dead giveaway.
If you're into the idea of having sex in the car, be direct about it with your partner. "The best way to have an enduring, satisfying sexual relationship is by creating an environment where there's no judgment," Zrenchik said. "There's nothing wrong with going to your partner confidently and saying, 'I have this fantasy.'" People often get nervous approaching their partners about their fantasies, Zrenchik said, but usually, their partners are happy to hear it. Give your partner space to ask questions, and answer them—or just pull this article up on your phone.
That said, make sure you take your partner's feelings into account. If they are genuinely nervous about getting caught, don't pressure them into entertaining your fantasy. Sex in public—or anywhere, really—is only fun and worthwhile if both people are equally into it.
Things were probably different back in the 1950s, when most cars had bench seats. These days, between all the cupholders and USB ports, things can get uncomfortable very quickly. No one wants a seat belt buckle jammed up their ass while they're trying to maintain an erection. However, a little prep work can go a long way. Make sure your car is stocked up with supplies to smooth out those rough edges: A couple of towels will do the trick, but a good blanket you don't mind getting messy can work wonders.
While we're on the topic, make sure your car is at least passably clean. It's fun to get a little dirty once in a while, but no one wants to have sex on a carpet of McDonald's receipts, crushed Cheerios and dog hair. Before you get busy, do yourself and your partner a favor and run a vacuum over the seats a few times––or at the very least, stop at the gas station and throw away those old Starbucks cups.
Position is everything
Good news: You're not a teenager anymore, so there are plenty of positions to explore beyond missionary, even while crammed in the back. "Use the interior to your advantage," Zrenchik recommended. "Don't be shy about mounting your partner and, depending on which way you're facing, holding onto the steering wheel or grabbing the headrest to give yourself leverage."
And remember, sex doesn't always have to be penetrative. This is especially true if you're worried about getting caught: Oral sex can be much more discreet, since both partners are (more or less) fully clothed, and can remain planted in their respective seats when necessary. Also, as long as you're revisiting fond memories from high school, why not enjoy a good old-fashioned handjob? Turns out, they're much hotter when both of you know what you're doing (and if you don't, please read here).
Think outside the car
Having sex in the car isn't your only option: You can also have sex on the car if you're feeling adventurous, Zrenchik said. This is varsity-level stuff, so if you're going to try it, we recommend being extremely cautious in terms of location—pick a place where you are very certain you'll enjoy some privacy. But once you find it, either the tailgate, if you have one, or the hood is an excellent option upon which to get it on. If it's the latter, just be mindful of the temperature, and maybe take a pass if you've been driving around in 97-degree heat. Nobody wants a third-degree burn down there.
Don't overthink it
Remember, the purpose of having sex in a car isn't necessarily to enjoy mind-blowing orgasms (although if you do, we salute you). You don't always have to reach the finish line so long as you discover ways to inject some spontaneity into your sex life. "Don't get too lost in your head! Have fun, and embrace the fact that it's a little edgy," Zrenchik recommended. "Neither one of you might orgasm, but that's fine—the fact that you are embracing some spontaneity and some rule-breaking behavior is hot. That journeying, trying to go out of your comfort zone, is what keeps couples sexually satisfied long-term. It's not about technique, size or physique. It's about the experience that you're building together."
Just remember to avoid smashing the horn while shouting "Yes! Yes!"—unless, of course, you're trying to draw some attention.