If you spend enough time in the queerer corners of the internet, you'll find 'coming out' stories all the time, not just on October 11. Some are hilarious, some are heartbreaking, and all are part of an illustrious queer rite of passage.

You'll also learn quickly that for some, coming out is fraught for reasons unrelated to how it will be received by loved ones. There are dozens of posts and articles from people in their 20s and 30s bemoaning their status as a 'late bloomer' because they didn't come into their queerness before adulthood.

It's clear that many of us feel like coming out is akin to a developmental milestone, like puberty, that's supposed to happen to everyone by high school. This notion is patently false and yet it still generates a great deal of shame and confusion for people of all ages. Where did it even come from?

Coming back from comphet

Sadly, 'late-bloomer syndrome' is something I'm intimately familiar with. When I first came out to my friends and family as bisexual at age 23, I felt virtually no shame about my attraction to women and nonbinary people, which I'd been vaguely aware of for