How Vaginal Fisting Actually Works

“Vaginal fisting” may sound like a violent act reserved only for varsity-level kinksters, but it’s more accessible than most people realize—and if you’re imagining uppercutting a vagina, you’re way off base.

Instead, picture the slow insertion of all fingers and thumb on one hand inside a vagina until they curl into a fist. This maneuver takes a little lube and a lot of communication, but thanks to the elasticity of vaginal walls, fisting is not only possible, it’s pleasurable! Fisting puts pressure on the A-spot, the internal portion of the clitoris and the cervix all at once, and the intense internal stimulation can trigger the most powerful internal orgasms you’ve ever experienced.

Fisting usually requires multiple attempts, but even if you can’t get all fingers and thumb inside, you can still take pleasure in the process.

But fisting isn’t all about the end goal of an orgasm. Porn performer and International Fisting Day co-founder Jiz Lee likes fisting for its “unparalleled feeling of fullness and intimate connection,” and that connection affects both partners. “Fisting is really about the communication and mutual desire between both people to collaboratively do this sexual act,” sex educator Sarah Sloane explained.

Most people with vulvas who enjoy girthy penetration can work their way up to take a fist, but if you have vaginal scarring, are pregnant or had gender confirmation surgery, consult your doctor before you try it. If your partner wants to be fisted or if you’re ready to take a whole hand yourself, follow these steps for a safe and satisfying experience:

1. Get comfortable. “Fisting is something that can take an hour or even two hours,” Sloane said, “so finding a position that is ergonomically supportable is really important.” It’s ideal for the receiver to be on their hands and knees or on their back with their knees up. Sloane recommends having an orgasm first to relax and “open everything up.”
2. Safety first. If you move too fast, if the receiver isn’t adequately lubricated or if the giver has an especially large hand, there’s a risk of vaginal tearing. "Girl Sex 101" author Allison Moon suggests using silicone lube or a hybrid lube along with latex or nitrile gloves for a smoother insertion. “Gloves reduce friction and look shiny where there’s lube,” she said, “allowing the top to see any dry spots.”
3. Start with fingers. Givers should insert their fingers one at a time, allowing their partner plenty of time to adjust to each increase in girth. When the receiver is ready, fold in the thumb. The giver’s hand should make a “duckbill” shape.
4. Communicate. Getting past the knuckles can be the hardest part, and that’s where communication is key. “I think of it as something the body decides, not the mind,” Lee said. Once the giver feels their partner’s vagina relax, they can slide their knuckles inside and curl their hand into a fist.
5. Enjoy. For some receivers, the feeling of fullness might be pleasurable enough on its own. The giver can keep their fist still and add some external stimulation with their fingers, their mouth or a vibrator.
6. Add some movement. “I like to rock my hips against a lover’s wrist,” Lee said, “or hold very still and squeeze hard, creating a game where I try to lock their hand tightly in place as they move against me.” Moon suggested givers keep any movement small and simple. “Even tiny movements can feel huge when there’s a fist inside you,” Moon explained. “I like to gently rock my fist up and down, like casting a tiny fishing rod, or side to side, like tapping a fork on a glass to make a toast—or sometimes I’ll jiggle it to create a vibration sensation.”
7. Release. Once the receiver has had their fill, it’s time to uncurl the fingers and remove the fist. “This is where cooperation is really important,” Sloane said. She suggested both partners breathe together while the receiver uses their pelvic floor muscles to push their partner’s hand out.

Fisting usually requires multiple attempts, but even if you can’t get all fingers and thumb inside, you can still take pleasure in the process. “My advice whenever approaching sex is not to make a goal about it,” Lee concluded. “If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, then you still had fun trying!”