I Came, I Conquered, I Squirted: A Beginners Guide
Gushing like a porn star may not be in everyone's cards—or particular interests—but the allure and mystery of squirting has undoubtedly grown over the years. In fact, contrary to popular belief, it's not all that hard to achieve. You just need a little practice.
About 80 percent of women who've experienced squirting said it improved their sex lives, according to a 2013 Austrian study published in BJU Journal. The urethra has nerve endings throughout the bladder neck, which makes it incredibly sensitive (as anybody who's ever had a UTI can attest). So, a rush of fluid during an orgasm can be a very pleasurable experience (I say this as a squirter and squirter educator).
How to begin squirting
While learning to squirt is much easier with a partner, the practice is something you can do solo. Eva Rotolo, an erotic writer, first embarked on her squirting journey with her husband—who she's been married to for 20 years—but found she really wanted to be able to do it on her own, too.
Rotolo found an online school called The School of Squirt, where for $40, anyone can watch modules from a couple, whose aim is to teach other men how to get their partners to squirt. By using their techniques, coupled with what she and her husband previously learned on their own, Rotolo was able to find the right combination of things to make herself squirt during solo play.
"To squirt on my own, I know my fingers would wear out," Rotolo said. "I used lots of lube, a glass dildo to stimulate my g-spot and the Zumio-i clit stimulator on my clit and lips." She also noted that clitoral and G-spot stimulation are imperative in order to squirt, a requisite fairly common for many squirters.
My first time squirting led me to the desire to educate others on the experience. My partner at the time was a self-professed squirting expert, stating he was able to make every woman he'd tried with capable of squirting. Never one to turn down something new, I agreed to let him try.
Upon squirting, I knew I wanted to show others how pleasurable and exhilarating it could be. At the time, I was part of a swinging community, and would hold classes during swinging events each month. I became known as somewhat of an expert on squirting, and helped a number of women become comfortable with the idea of letting go and being able to squirt.
Classes were held during swinging events at a local club, where anyone could sign up ahead of time for a moderate fee. My girlfriend and I would demonstrate our technique on one another in front of the class, then offer to help others who were either not partnered for the class, or who wanted to experience the phenomenon with our help. Often, women would bring their partners with them so they could both learn how to make it happen. Not everyone was able to relax enough in a semi-public setting, but more often than not, we heard feedback later saying once they were in the privacy of their home, they were able to let go and let it happen using our techniques.
Interested in trying it on your own? It doesn't have to be a mystery, anymore. And you definitely don't need to take an online or IRL class on the act. We're here to guide you step-by-step through the glamorous world of gushing, squirting and letting it all go.
Prepare your surface
Squirting can get messy between the liquid itself and the lube, so it's best to put down towels on your chosen surface. If you have something better, such as a sex blanket or other waterproof item, use that.
There's no research stating hydration has anything to do with the ability to squirt, but it's never a bad idea to hydrate your body. I can tell you from personal experience, the more hydrated I am, the more volume of fluid I end up having. It also helps me avoid a headache after.
Place a lot of pressure on the G-spot
When you're turned on, insert your middle and ring finger a couple of inches inside the vagina and rub your G-spot, which feels like a small ridged area along the front of your vaginal wall. (or have your partner do it if you're working with someone else). You'll need to do it for an extended period of time. What you're pushing on is erectile tissue that surrounds the urethra. As you're stroking that, you're changing the angle of the urethra to the bladder which makes it easier for fluid to be expelled. To improve your odds of squirting, relax the pelvic floor muscles as you stimulate the G-spot.
Using a toy can also help reach the elusive G-spot. Even with a partner, the amount of pressure and the time required can leave fingers cramping. Using a firm and bulbous-headed toy can take that pressure off your partner or yourself and make things so much easier. The G-spot is about two inches in and one inch up, inside the vagina, so you'll need a toy with some length and a slight curve.
Don't stress about peeing
One of the top concerns I hear when helping people learn to squirt is the worry about peeing on themselves or their partners. Though there isn't conclusive research one way or another, the likelihood of it being pee is very low. Even if it has a small amount of urine in it, sex is messy. It's not a big deal and shouldn't cause stress. A lot of women feel like they're going to pee when they're close to reaching an O. But that gotta-go feeling is often sparked by that fluid coming from the Skene's glands behind the G-spot (AKA. squirting) and letting go is one of the keys to being able to squirt.
Work those pelvic floor muscles
As the sensation begins to build, your body is going to say to hold it, but you're going to have to let it go. Push out instead of holding in. Pushing out with your pelvic floor muscles, like you have to pee, will release that flow, and your orgasm.
Relax and enjoy the ride
When you can let go, you'll find the orgasm and the squirting are better than tensing up. It takes time to get used to the feeling of a G-spot orgasm, especially if there's fluid coming with it, but it's worth it in the long run. Most people find once they stop worrying if the fluid is urine, they're able to stop the tension in their bodies and allow everything to flow.
Whether you're embarking on this journey alone, with a partner, or a teacher, learning to squirt is a great way to educate yourself on your body. And don't stress if it doesn't happen right away. It's okay, it takes practice. You may never gush or you may become the messiest girl at the party. Everyone is different. But if it feels good, then you're doing it right.