Love Being Single But Also Love Your Relationship?
There's just something about being single. You have no one to answer to or for but yourself, you can do what you want when you want and you get both sides of the bed. On the flip side, there's something about being in a loving, long-term relationship. You get to see the person you love every day, receive unconditional support when you need it and always have someone to get drinks with on a Friday night when you're bored and your hair looks good.
As someone who absolutely loved being single and is now in the aforementioned loving, long-term relationship, there are certain aspects I miss about being single, but not enough to give up my partner. Many people agree, but some say even the most loving of relationships isn't worth the sacrifice of freedom that comes with being consistently unattached.
The craving to be single again
Licensed yoga instructor Lianne Sanders is currently in a long-term relationship but knows it's still possible to want or crave the feeling of being single. "Don't get me wrong, I love my partner, but there are times when I miss my solitude," Sanders said.
This is a shared sentiment for anyone familiar with the occasionally euphoric feeling of being single. Of course, there are people in relationships who wouldn't have it any other way—some people don't enjoy being single, and there's nothing wrong with that.
"I miss my independence, but most of all what runs through my mind are the what-ifs," Sanders pondered. "What if I hadn't met my partner? Would my career be different? Would I be in a different place or country even? Would I be out there exploring the world? Is there something out there that could make me even happier than I am now?"
This is a normal thought exercise. I have reflected on these exact hypotheticals, realizing no matter what my situation is, there are always going to be what-ifs—whether I'm single or in a relationship.
"At the end of the day, however, all the things I mentioned can be wiped down by one person, and that is the person I am with now," Sanders added. "I love that he gives me my own time to still do what I love. I love how he allows me to explore possibilities with him. I love how, together, we can explore whatever life has to offer. And, of course, I love how we thrive every day to make each other the happiest we can possibly be."
The cherry on top
I wouldn't trade my monogamous relationship for anything, but there are facets I love and miss about being single. A lot of them focus on making sure we split our time between our two sets of parents, so no one feels left out, and balancing how and when we spend time with friends. As a single person, you don't have to worry about these dilemmas.
One thing I don't miss about being single is playing the game of being single: the dating apps, the ghosting (zombieing?) and all the moving parts of casual dating. Sure, it's a means to an end, but after a while, it gets really old. That's why learning to love being single was so important. I knew if I could love being on my own and be fulfilled with my life without a partner, then when I finally found someone to love, it would be the tastiest cherry on top.
There's no right or wrong way to go about how you view being single or being in a relationship. If you are single, enjoy it. And if you're in a relationship, enjoy it. The trick is to regret nothing and work at having your best life.