A long-distance relationship presents a multitude of understandable challenges. There’s the issue of missing your partner, and if time zones are a factor, it might be difficult to find time to talk. And what about keeping your sex life, well, sexy? That’s a serious issue for long-distance couples in long-term relationships.
But don’t fret, maintaining a long-distance sex life is possible, if you have the right tools.
Challenges of distance
Ask anyone who’s experienced a long-distance relationship and they’ll tell you it’s difficult. It can be lonely, especially when many of your friends are couples and your partner is far away.
Yes, video chat is a great modern invention, but it’s really not the same as being there in person. There’s also the very real cost of visits: Traveling to see each other not only puts a strain on your pocketbook, but time spent away means you may have to take vacation time, and that can potentially hurt your career.
Let’s also not forget the stress caused by trying to make the time you do have together perfect, because it doesn’t happen often, or enough. That’s a lot of pressure. And we haven’t even talked about the sex part yet.
Benefits of distance
Now, there are some great aspects of long-distance relationships. I’m speaking from personal experience: two years in love, and the two of us on different continents with time differences ranging from five to 12 hours.
I can firmly state that being apart provided an amazing opportunity to focus on my own life—studies, friends, family, hobbies and so on—allowing me to nurture a relationship without setting aside what was important to me. I concentrated on really getting to know my boyfriend well, and many times I’d find myself having conversations over the phone that I knew I never would have drifted into at home, together on the couch, watching Netflix.
Distance does present challenges for a couple. But look at it this way: If your relationship survives, you know you must truly care about the other person and probably have a good shot at making it work in the long run.
Another aspect of long-distance loving you may not have thought about is the...wait for it…anticipation. Distance can drive your lust for someone. All you think about is how exciting it will be when you finally get to see each other and live out your fantasies. That expectation can be very sexy.
In the meantime, it’s time to get practical and explore ways to get high-tech freaky.
You gotta get creative
You have a number of ways to keep surprising your long-distance partner (and yourself) and create an amazing sex life.
Start by writing naughty letters (as well as romantic ones) and mailing them. Yes, using the postal service. You might even think of sending a silly or unexpected gift. There’s something super-sexy about putting in extra effort and surprising your lover with a tangible gesture. For example, ladies, send him your prettiest thong to remember you by. Or if you’re feeling bashful, send a sweatshirt that smells like your favorite perfume.
This kind of thoughtfulness goes a long way. And it may teach your partner what you’d like in return.
One benefit technology has brought to long-distance couples is a number of apps especially designed to encourage both of you to be much more intimate than you would otherwise be through texting.
How about a mutual masturbation session on camera or the phone? Perhaps create your own erotic video archive that you can watch together. Or surprise your partner with a video of yourself having some solo fun while watching one of the videos in your archive.
And don’t forget teledildonic toys. These little wonders are like remote-controlled sex toys and they’ve changed the face of long-distance relationships forever. Now you can operate a sex toy remotely on your partner, from a distance. It’s not as intimate as real flesh-on-flesh sex, but it’s getting close.
Distance can be difficult in a relationship, but get creative and start seeing the glass as half-full rather than half-empty. Stay positive, use some of these ideas, invest in some clever toys and tech, and your sex life can be as fun as it ever was.