For logistical reasons, I hadn't tasted my boyfriend's semen before this assignment. In the name of research, however, I took it upon myself to conduct a very unscientific, control sample-less experiment to finally get to the bottom of the time-honored, much-Googled question: Does food—specifically, pineapple—make your semen taste good?

The "experiment" involved my boyfriend mentioning he'd eaten pineapple for lunch, me requesting he ejaculate in my mouth and him—approximately 26 minutes later—obliging.

What I tasted wasn't unpleasant but it certainly wasn't pineapple. What it actually tasted like was the shirataki noodles I used to buy in Chinatown, that is, faintly salty and reminiscent of mushrooms. "Interesting, interesting," I thought to myself. "But my boyfriend hates mushrooms."

With more questions than answers after my slapdash experiment, I reached out to Carol Queen, Ph.D., the staff sexologist and curator of the Good Vibrations Antique Vibrator Museum in San Francisco, for further insight.

When I asked her whether pineapple—or any foods—impacts the flavor of jizz, she