What Is the Best Way to Engage in Prostate Massage?
Let's talk prostate massage.
With the democratization of sexual information in the internet age, more men are open to exploring sexuality in adventurous ways, including prostate massage. While the penis tends to make itself the center of attention—be it exhilarating, hilarious or horrifying—it's easy to forget other things are going on down there, too.
Spreading the love is worth the effort, though.
"Prostate stimulation is a great way to intensify orgasm and to have a different type of orgasm," said Jen Brunet, M.S.W., a licensed sex therapist who works with the Tri Health Clinic in Kingston, Ontario. "I think we're getting to a place where more people are comfortable with that."
What is the prostate gland?
The prostate gland is vital to male sexual function, especially ejaculation. It produces up to 30 percent of the fluid in semen, and provides the muscular pulsing action that pushes semen into the urethra to mix with sperm and other fluids on its way out of the penis.
Trepidation about exploring prostate massage often stems from one specific aspect of it: the method of getting there.
For many men, their understanding of the prostate gland extends no further than the tip of their doctor's finger when they get a digital rectal exam (DRE). But those are typically middle-aged guys. Younger men may have no concept of the exam. A DRE is the easiest, least invasive way to do a very basic check for prostate gland irregularities—let's be real, guys, it's not that big a deal—and ultimately, your prostate has nothing to do with your butt.
However, this walnut-sized muscular gland sits directly below the bladder in such a way that you can only feel it by pressing a finger against the front wall of the rectum. But you can also massage or stimulate it from there.
Prostate massage as treatment
In a modern context, prostate massage probably originated as a medical procedure. Prostate massage or prostate milking was sometimes used in years past to express fluid when a man had prostatitis. The idea was to determine the nature of any infection by examining the fluid.
As a medical procedure, that process has largely gone by the wayside, though some small studies indicate prostate massage along with medication can ease some symptoms of prostatitis and/or benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH), or enlarged prostate.
Then there's prostate massage for fun
Coming while having your prostate stimulated by a finger or a toy is often described as a more intense, whole-body orgasm than what you get from just penis stimulation. Indeed, there are men for whom prostate stimulation alone is sufficient to trigger an orgasm.
"There are a ton of nerves in the area that surrounds the prostate," said Amy Pearlman, M.D., a men's health specialist and co-founder of Prime Institute in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. "You can get at that area by putting a finger in the rectum and feeling those nerves. There may be guys who don't like it, but there are going to be a ton of guys who don't know if they'd like it because they're too scared to try it, but who might actually love it. It's all about exploring one's body, which we don't give men permission to do."
How to conduct prostate massage
If you're going to try prostate massage, you and/or your partner should keep a few tips in mind:
- Empty your bowels and bladder beforehand.
- Ensure cleanliness with an enema or anal douche, or at least a thorough shower.
- Use plenty of lubrication.
- Make sure fingernails are trimmed to avoid any cuts or tears.
- Take off any rings.
- Wash hands carefully before and after.
- Use surgical gloves or a finger condom if you want extra cleanliness.
- Make sure any toys and massagers are clean and designed for anal play.
What about feces?
The possibility of encountering feces during prostate or anal play is a natural concern. As Forrest Gump said, it happens. You're visiting the neighborhood, after all, so you might bump into the guy who runs things.
However, a little common sense and planning can reduce the odds.
"If someone's worried that there might be poop in there, well, OK, make sure you have a bowel movement," Pearlman said. "I think for people to feel comfortable, they want to feel clean down there. [They think], 'So how do I clean my rectum if someone wants to put a finger in there?' And that's not really taught, either. When I talk to my friends who are gay, people in the community talk about that all the time, like anal douching. In the heterosexual world, we don't talk about that, but we should."
If you're still not ready to access the prostate via the rectum, you can ease your way into prostate stimulation externally, as well.
"You can kind of get at the prostate just by pressing on the perineum, the area between the scrotum and the rectum," Pearlman said. "If you push deep, you can stimulate the prostate. So it doesn't necessarily mean a finger in the rectum if the person doesn't feel comfortable with that."
Pushing past the stigma
The bottom line is your whole bottom area below the penis is packed with nerves and intriguingly different types of sensitivity.
In the past, men might have been shamed into avoiding any but the most rudimentary kind of penis stimulation. However, if you give it a chance, you may find prostate massage opens up as-yet only imagined avenues of pleasure.
"There's definitely a lot of taboos around anal play, but, generally speaking, I think we're getting a little better at exploring these things," Brunet said.