Do You Know Your Erotic Blueprint?
- An erotic blueprint allows individuals to recognize their unique sexual preferences and ways of becoming aroused.
- Engage in mindful exploration and experimentation in the bedroom. Experiment with different sensations all over your body and rate what gives the most pleasure, alone or with a partner.
- Understanding what gets you aroused will give you more control over your sexual life as well as can lead to a more satisfied sex life.
In the 2021 Netflix series "Sex, Love & Goop," we got a glimpse into the lives of different couples, such as Erika and Damon, as they shared their sexual journeys together.
The show revolved around their quest to improve sexual compatibility, and throughout they were guided by Gwyneth Paltrow and her team of experts.
Paltrow may not be a certified sex expert herself, but she called on somatic sexologist Jaiya Ma, who introduced them to the fascinating erotic blueprint.
So what is an erotic blueprint and how do we discover our own?
What is an erotic blueprint?
"An erotic blueprint is a map to finding out what turns you on the most," said Rebecca Alvarez Story, a sexologist and co-founder of the sexologist-led intimacy company Bloomi, in San Francisco. "It helps you understand how you and your partner can get aroused and reveal your erotic language."
To start, you can become more mindful in the bedroom. For example, you can try body mapping or arousal mapping. You would then experiment with different sensations all over your body and rate what gives the most pleasure, alone or with a partner. This way you can create a more fulfilling and satisfying sex life.
"If you prefer a little help, you can also work with a sex therapist or sexologist to help you figure out your erotic blueprint," said Martha Tara Lee, D.H.S., an AASECT-certified sex educator and clinical sexologist with Eros Coaching in Singapore.
How to identify and understand our own erotic blueprint
In addition to the above, you can take a blueprint test to find your erotic type. Lee suggested taking Ma's online quiz to discover your type, describing it as intuitive, similar to "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.
It isn't always reliable, though, according to Story.
"The test is based on your personal observations and beliefs, which don't necessarily reflect the truth," she said.
"Most people resonate with one main type when they are told about what each is and means," Lee said.
- Upgrade to a Blended Orgasm: Stimulating the anus, vagina and clitoris in combination can take pleasure to the next level.
- Fear and Arousal—Why Does Fear Turn Me On?: If you’re thinking of adding an element of fear to spice up your sex life, read this now.
- A Brief History of Sex Toys: Our desire to play around with what feels good may go back far longer than we thought.
However, some people may be surprised to discover they identify with a different blueprint, especially if they haven't explored or tried it before. For instance, people might be intrigued by kinkiness but haven't realized it yet.
Understanding what gets you aroused will give you more control over your sexual life and can lead to a more satisfied sex life. You're more likely to advocate for needs, fulfill them and have peak sexual experiences once you are fully aware of them.
Understanding your erotic blueprint type can help you in a number of ways, according to Lee, including:
- You may discover a way to express and explain yourself better.
- You may grow in self-variety and exploration. It can be used as a framework to "grow" ourselves, meaning to "know" what we are not—and to try the things we won't usually do to see if we might like them.
- It may increase self-awareness.
- Knowing your blueprint type may increase intimacy and connection. Go deeper because there is more understanding of what your partner likes and why.
- You may be better equipped to overcome challenges. Understand your partner better and use it as a way to navigate differences.
How many erotic blueprint types are there?
Story said there are five main erotic blueprint types.
The word "sensual" sounds slow, romantic and all-encompassing, and that's exactly what the sensual profile type is. If you're the sensual type, you want all your senses ignited. Your dream experience would involve taste, smell, touch, sound and sight. Think luxurious setting, chocolate-covered strawberries, slow touching, romantic music and full presence.
The energetic type in the pleasure profile may not be what it sounds like. It's not channeling the Energizer Bunny by going fast and giving it your all. Instead, the energetic type is someone who feeds off energy. Teasing that energy causes anticipation and yearning, which is the hallmark of the energetic type. In general, but not always, the energetic type is easy to turn on and loves sexual tension.
If you fall under the sexual type, you're turned on by images of sex and how our culture presents and promotes the act of sex. Seeing beautiful nudity, big climaxes and penetration are all part of the sexual type. Like the energetic type, sexual types are usually turned on in an instant. It doesn't take much. This type is very simplistic, but that in no way makes it boring. Sexual types just know what they want and prefer arousal through their sexual body parts.
Being a kinky type means you're turned on by taboos or things that aren't social norms. However, these taboos are broken down in a couple of different ways. The first has to do with physical sensations such as getting tied up or hand-cuffed or playing with a ball gag or a paddle for spanking. The second is more thought-based and uses power dynamics.
Finally, there is the shapeshifter type in the pleasure profile. If you're a shapeshifter, you can flow between types and make love passionately to accommodate any type. In fact, a shapeshifter is turned on by changing their sexual style to get their partner off because they love seeing the satisfaction it brings.