On a muggy summer night you're wide awake in bed, restlessly listening to the wheezy tones of your partner's snores. Your mind starts to wander and you think to yourself, "Can I sleep next to this freight train for the rest of my life? Is my partner truly the best match for me?"
Fueled by anxieties born from the possibility of becoming stuck in the wrong relationship, you unstick yourself from the sweaty mattress and open your laptop to search for answers. You spend hours reading articles and taking quizzes that purport to help you determine the quality of your relationship, but no search result brings you any closer to clarity. You text a friend, "How do you know when you're with the right person?" (And, of course, they don't reply as it's 3 a.m. and they have more productive things to do—like sleep.)
The uncertainty of your choices hangs heavy in the air, suffocating you more than the heat of the oncoming summer day ever could.
Everyone has questions that arise around the compatibility of their romantic relationship, but when the distress caused by this uncertainty leads you to engage in time-consuming behaviors that feel