What Your Sex Ed Class Got Wrong About Menstruation

When Jordan Gass-Pooré got her first period, she was at the mall with her aunt and she remembers crying.

"I thought, oh, God, I'm going to have to use those things my mom uses now!" said Gass-Pooré, a New York City-based podcast producer and investigative journalist. Gass-Pooré didn't have a formal sex education class in school, but she did have a close relationship with her mother, who spoke to her candidly about subjects such as sex and periods. Still, Gass-Pooré recalled being freaked out and sad when her first period began.

"For some reason, periods and/or menstrual cycles are deliberately not talked about in our society and put into an 'ick' category," said Jimanekia Eborn, M.S., a sex educator and sexual trauma expert in Los Angeles who added that she wishes young girls were taught that their period is not shameful. "It truly is a natural thing that happens to millions every day."

While many school systems assume parents are having conversations with their young kids about puberty and menstruation, the reality is that education on these topics is often limited and/or inadequate, furthering fears and stigma around the experience.

I did have one health teacher in fifth grade who taught us that periods are actually really cool. It's the only health lesson I remember clearly. She told us that when we got our first period, it was our body showing us it was possible to have a baby, and wasn't that just incredible?

So getting your period isn't all bad news. The regular, monthly buildup and subsequent shedding of our uterine lining is generally an indicator of good health. A healthy cycle is also a reflection of general health, with links to our adrenal glands, thyroid, liver and gallbladder.

If your period is extremely unpleasant, including cramps, nausea, a heavy flow and other symptoms, this just may clue you into a bigger problem.

So much of the conversation surrounding menstruation is negative, from formal education to adults' candid talks with young people. When girls expect to be miserable on their period, they might not speak up about pain, discomfort or irregular cycles, which could be symptoms of an underlying health issue.

"Periods are a vital sign and can tell us a lot about our health and hormones," explained Kim Vopni, also known as the Vagina Coach. Vopni, of British Columbia, Canada, is a restorative exercise specialist who helps women better understand their pelvic health, including menstruation. Most women accept pain during periods as normal, she explained.

"But periods should not be painful, and if young women knew this and who to go see to ask for help, there would be a lot less suffering," Vopni said.

While hormonal birth control can offer relief for many young girls looking to manage period symptoms, they're not right for everyone. Women's health experts are now warning against the default birth control prescription to manage period symptoms, encouraging healthcare providers to examine root causes first. Those symptoms, if covered up with cycle-regulating birth control, can worsen or lead to more issues later in life if left untreated.

"With excessive bleeding, there could be fibroids or endometriosis going on, which then later can lead to fertility issues," said Sonal Sura, M.D., a radiation oncologist in Florida specializing in women's sexual health. "If there's a lack of periods, there could be something metabolic going on."

Sura also noted that mood changes can be a sign of bigger mental health issues in teens. Brushing those symptoms aside as "just period problems" can lead to mental health issues going undiagnosed. This is why it's so important to make girls feel comfortable talking about how they feel and what they're experiencing when they menstruate—and outside of menstruation, as well.

"Most sex education doesn't go into the details of what it's like to actually experience a period," said Chelsea VonChaz, the Los Angeles-based founder and CEO of #HappyPeriod, a Black-led charity with a focus on menstrual health education, advocacy and access.

VonChaz teaches workshops on menstruation in an effort to destigmatize the topic and bring better education and equity to students who menstruate. She said teaching young girls to track their periods is an important step in helping them understand their own unique cycle, which should go beyond simply keeping track of when bleeding starts each month.

"When you track your period, you should be tracking your flow," VonChaz explained. "Is it runny? Is it bulky? Is it cloudy? Does it feel like you've given birth to a jellyfish? That could be a sign of fibroids. Is it red? Is it dark red? Is it a bright red? Are there signs of an infection?"

Her deep dive into the details illustrates how expansive the topic of periods can be when education covers the breadth of all there is to know and understand.

VonChaz often shares her own first period story and how she's managed her period over time, from starting with pads to experimenting with tampons and, later in life, trying out period underwear and menstrual cups. She wants young girls (as well as boys and trans and gender-nonconforming kids) to understand that not only do menstrual cycles vary from person to person, but how you manage them can vary, too.

"It's so important for your girls to be encouraged to experiment, to learn about their period and to just figure out what they like and what they don't like. And then, ultimately, understand what works for them," VonChaz said.

We've all discreetly tucked a tampon into our sleeve when we're in a public place or quietly asked a friend/colleague/classmate if they have a spare.

The lack of comprehensive and consistent education surrounding menstruation for both girls and women perpetuates the idea we should all be quiet and discreet about a natural experience that has a big impact on our lives.

"I've made that traumatizing walk to the nurse's station," said VonChaz, recalling a time when she didn't have a pad and needed one at school. She said the fact that menstrual supplies aren't readily available for students, but rather hidden away at the nurse's office, makes young girls even more embarrassed to talk about their periods.

When Detroit middle school teacher Kristin Heavner shared a photo on social media of a makeup bag containing an assortment of pads and tampons, she wanted to remind fellow teachers that young girls tend to have irregular cycles, and it's helpful to keep products on hand for them to avoid potentially embarrassing leaks or accidents. The 2017 post went viral, with many fellow educators applauding her openness on the topic.

Heavner saw an obvious impact on her students. "Once kids were talking about it a little bit more, they seemed a lot more comfortable just [walking] to the back to take one and walk out," Heavner said in an interview with Learning for Justice. "There wasn't a lot of hiding."

When educators make it acceptable for girls and boys to discuss menstruation without discomfort or jokes, young people feel better about asking questions and getting the products they need to take good care of themselves.

VonChaz believes the first step in helping young people feel more comfortable with periods and to destigmatize the conversation is for adults—teachers included—to simply be more open and candid about them.

"We've got to educate them and allow them to process all of this on their own," VonChaz emphasized. "And we've got to do it in a way that's empowering. I think the best way to do that is to just tell them everything."