A trip to the ER is usually not an enjoyable experience for anyone; at times, the staff included. The staff in hospital emergency rooms should be commended not only for their tireless commitment to their patients, but because they’re often required to help with odd and compromising situations. We’ve compiled three embarrassing ER stories; all dealing with male sex-related situations that are truly haunting. Their names have been changed to protect their privacy.
1. The Overly Attached Penis Pump
Penis pumps are said to momentarily aid in increasing penis size. Often, the penis must be inserted into a vacuum-like mechanism and pumped several times to increase blood flow. Overanxious or inexperienced users can over-pump, which can cause multiple problems like ruptured blood vessels, torn skin tissue or even functional damage to the penis.
For Jarred, his penis pumping escapade landed him in the emergency room. He managed to pump so hard that his testicles were sucked into the pump itself. This caused such excruciating pain, he felt as if his testicles had been ripped from his body. Not able to remove the pump himself, he arrived to the ER with the pump still attached. While his testicles weren’t ripped off by the penis pump, they did receive serious tissue damage. His attending physician warned the damage could be permanent and could even interfere with the possibility of having children. The dangers of penis pumps, and instructions on proper use, should be well understood before they are used.
2. The Lodged Sex Toy that Inspired a Breakthrough
Sex toys like dildos can add excitement in the bedroom. Experimenting with dildos and other toys can be a fun way to explore your sexuality and spice things up. But sex toys (and other objects) becoming stuck inside of rectums, vaginas, and urethras is more common in the ER than you would think. For a man we’ll name Arthur, he managed to lodge a 23-inch dildo in his colon. He rushed to the ER after failing to remove the dildo himself, and when he started to (obviously) feel serious abdominal discomfort.
While ER staff is well-trained in removing foreign objects from body cavities, the size of Arthur’s dildo stumped them. After attempting routine procedures and failing to retrieve the lodged sex toy, they had to think quickly. Arthur’s attending doctors decided to create a tool from their available materials: a catheter tube attached to medical wire. This created a noose-like end that was able to hook to the dildo and allow for its removal. The one positive to Arthur’s horror story? His doctors were able to add their invention to the British Medical Journal as a recommended tool.
3. The Iron Circle of Pain
Penis rings, or constriction rings, place pressure on the penis to help with maintaining an erection. At Giddy, we have a lot of incoming questions about DIY penis rings out of shoelaces, tape, twine, and other materials. Perhaps the story of one man that we’ll call Billy, will help answer the question once and for all about DIY devices for ED.
Billy fell asleep with his homemade iron ring still attached to his penis. When he awoke, his penis was so swollen with blood that he was unable to remove the iron ring. He rushed to the ER, where staff had to pierce the penis with a needle and draw out the collected blood and fluid (a process called aspiration) in order to safely remove the DIY ring. You should never fall asleep wearing any constriction device. That said, Giddy’s ED device features a “horseshoe” shape, and tension bands that are easy to remove when needed.
Addressing ED with Caution
At Giddy, we’re big fans of DIY projects, especially with Halloween around the corner. We also encourage the use of sex toys if it’s something you and your partner are curious about. However, genitals and body cavities are highly sensitive, so precautions should be taken. Treat the body with care! If you’re looking to add a wearable device to assist with erectile dysfunction, opt for a device like Giddy’s, that’s utility patented, and registered with the FDA as a Class II Medical Device.
We’ll tell you the same thing we would have told Billy: always do your research, use precaution, and read the instructions before using any device for erectile dysfunction. We hope you stay safe before, during, and after sex, to avoid an ER horror story of your own.
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And remember, if you think you have a medical emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately.
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