“Big Dick Energy” (BDE) began on Twitter as a way to describe certain male celebrities. What seems like a pretty straightforward qualification for the description, big dick energy actually involves a lot more than just penis size. BDE has now become ubiquitous with a quiet confidence that certain men exude. Everyone from Bruce Springsteen to Jeff Goldblum is said to have BDE, but what exactly does this mean?
Big dick energy is best described as a humble swagger. It’s the confident yet comfortable way a man carries himself. The positive term stands in stark opposition to toxic masculinity which describes an aggressive confidence that alpha males stereotypically display. A man with BDE is secure and his self-assuredness isn’t boisterous, instead it’s visible in his mannerisms and interactions. A man with big dick energy is said to be empathetic and a great listener. A man with BDE is secure about his abilities in and out of the bedroom, including prioritizing the sexual satisfaction of his partner over his own.
This sex-positive term might have been born in a tweet, however, it’s taken traits like aggression, pettiniess and cockiness often associated with overtly masculine men and flipped them. Even though BDE has been adopted as a different way to express confidence, it still has ties to penis size. Psychology professors point to the belief that men with larger penises usually have more secure body confidence. This enables them to pursue more sexual opportunities because they feel quite sure of their ability to please their partner. Their value or self-worth isn’t connected to what they’re packing in their pants but they’re certain they can please.
You don’t have to have a large penis to exude BDE. As psychologists point out, confidence is brewed internally. It’s the way you carry yourself that’s key to having big dick energy not the actual size of your genitalia. A man with an average or small penis can absolutely exude big dick energy. The term has since been adopted to describe a number of men, including women since BDE is about the aura you vibe off so it doesn’t have to include gender.
Even though big dick energy very much seems like a silly term, it is interesting to note the cultural need to describe different forms of masuline attributes. The term masculinity doesn’t have to make people cringe. Instead, men are allowed to be multifaceted humans with varying degrees of “masculine” traits that extend beyond penis size. The internet says that if you have to ask yourself if you have big dick energy, then you probably don’t. However, we’d argue that everyone has work to do when it comes to building their self-confidence. If you don’t feel like you’re quite there, don’t give up just yet.
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